Mr. Samba

As I reread Mr. Sambas profile I was reminded of our last and only meeting.

It would have been an unimaginable connection for me. Mr. Samba was a lovely dark skinned man, with deep set glorious brown eyes and  slightly greying short cut afro. He was luscious. I imagined his skin felt like butter. Culturally we would be different but I found that too to be intriguing.

I soon found that we are all the same when it comes to “love” and the things we are looking for in a partner. Mr. Samba was no different. But would he find little ole Annie the kind of woman he desired.

After reintroducing myself we began another long and clever dialogue. His was intellectually quirky yet brilliant. After all he was a promoter and knew all the right pitches to entice. I followed and returned the quips. It was fun and entertaining but I needed to see if he would fit into my idea of helping me through my new ventures.
“Im writing a book” Can I get your male perspective? I need a promoter for my stories. Interested?

He responded eagerly: “Really? Tell me more, whats your subject matter, who’s your audience, whats your market for the book? What contractual agreements do you have? I can supplement that. I SEE STARS!”

I sent him a rough draft of my manuscript. “Get ready for a wild ride”

“Saddling up.” he remarked.

The days flipped by and I didn’t hear from Samba. I was anxious to hear how he felt about the stories but I knew it d take time to digest all of it.

Finally he wrote: ” Whew the book was hot and so are you. Taking an ice cold shower now! I need to send you an extended response, but the lump in my throat moved south so quickly that it temporarily paralyzed me. The diversion of blood? It was so substantial that only one limb remained operative.”

OH MY DEAR GOD! HILARIOUS! I had to peel myself off the floor after reading his clever response.

 

To read more about Mr. Samba Ann outlines her adventures in her soon to be released book “THE NEW DANCE CARD” LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE

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Mr Moonwalk (Delusional dancer)

It was now spring 2014 and I was looking forward to some warm days to lift my spirits after so many gloomy days of continual disappointment in my dating adventures. I m going to rename The New Dance Card … Profiles of Discourage.

Maybe a change of pace to somewhere warm, a little tennis in that sunshine state. Perhaps meet a handsome tennis pro. Serve and volley all day and surf the net at night?

Off to Florida I went. The next entry onto my list referred to himself as “The Pied Piper of The Sea” He was tall, handsome, fit, with golden locks. Never married, no children.Worked on wall street as a successful day trader but lost it all during the financial meltdown. He traded the hustle and bustle of New York to relocate to the golden sands of Siesta Key, now combing those pristine sands in search of a treasure. Gold perhaps or a rich snow bird.

He was a bronzed god in royal blue swim trunks, faded visor and beach chair in hand looking to reinvest in some older broad who is vulnerable to his charming advances. His new pot of Gold.

I tagged him as Mr. Moonwalk because its a dance that gives the illusion of moving forward when actually the moves are backwards. His were just that for every step he took towards me. We had an interesting interchange during my visit. He confided that he had football injuries and was nursing a wounded foot. It oozed infection. I became the nurse at this point imparting medical advice. He didn’t listen. He feared losing his foot or even the entire leg. He had daily massages to keep his lymph system flowing. He invited me to see his massage table. Oh my dear God!

Would I be that NURSE or that PURSE?

To find out what Ann does with Mr. Moonwalk check out her New book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online soon to be released and available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Apple iTunes

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Mr. Lap Dance (sexual dancer)

Number 8 on my new dance card would be Mr. Lap dance. He was a mover and a shaker, hauling cargo around this vast country in a big rig that was his home on the road.

His profile read;

Im not into playing games I want something more than to meet my match online and get off this dating site.

Some important questions:

Are you emotionally stable? (yes or no)

Which of these do you have?

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

OCD

ADHD, ADD

Codependency

anorexia, bulimia

None of the above?

He was always on the road so our conversations were usually at night. After a month or so of communicating we decided to meet. It would be a mutually agreed upon location but it meant a long drive. I always seemed to be the one to drive to destinations and I was wondering why? Was I that desperate?  I remember a similar situation I had with Mr. Hustle and how disastrous that turned out. I need to inform my sister Susie of my plans…she would be my safety net.

That one  time meeting would leave me filled with doubt about the intentions of some.

To find out what happened with Mr. LAP DANCE Ann chronicles her dates in her soon to be released 2nd book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. A series of 3 books in her long arduous journey looking for love again in midlife.

Please visit her website http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

and get her first book”The Dance Card” Looking For love After Divorce

available on Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Kindle, Apple itunes

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Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

THAT KISS…

Closing the door on my long time friend after our hours long therapy session I became a bit nervous”Oh Boy” Was he so starved for affection that he was looking at me as his subject for those desirable romantic moments he was so longing for?

YIKES!  I better not go there. Cannot happen, never will. But he looked so deep into my eyes at that moment.- now what was I going to do? Off to bed I went consumed with those crazy thoughts.

That next morning I was exhausted from that night of being therapist to my friend Jeff. Then I thought, Shit what kind of therapy? marriage advice or sex therapy?  Would or should he be on my “Dance Card.” I knew he would reenter my life in hopes of finding love–maybe not with me, but then again who better to teach than the holder of the dance card.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Jeff. I wondered where he was in his marriage? He did not enlist my assistance after that day, I didn’t ask why. The last I heard was that he had read my first book that I wrote after the failure of my marriage. The stories describe my exhausting journey  jumping into the pool of online dating, looking for suitors to be potential long term loves in my life. Maybe he decided to stay.

His last words to me that night were,” I’d be happy with those few defining intimate moments with someone who’d make me smile. That is all I need. I can live with the rest, sad as it may be.”

I wondered if he found someone to share those pleasurable moments? I was happy it was not me?   MAYBE.

 

To find out what happened to Jeff be sure to look for my soon to be released book The New Dance Card, Looking For Love Online. It is a second in a 3 book series of searching for that right partner in life. The first book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce chronicles Ann’s beginning adventures in dating again after the end of her marriage. Aavailable on Amazon. com, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, Apple  i-tunes.

Ann Reichardt is a long time resident of Wisconsin and now lives in Scottsdale Arizona. She is a retired registered nurse and educator of the arts. Her oil paintings have been in several showings in New York City. She has illustrated  children’s books and is working on more. Her passion for the arts, theatre, singing performing has played a big role in her life. She has two daughters and a wonderful extended family that have supported her on this journey.

 

Contact: Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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Shoes and Relationships…The Right Fit

The next audition for my New Dance Card:  A 52 year old Aerospace engineer, recently divorced with 2 kids. I was seeing a pattern: the age and stage of life seems to be a turning point. Is it the desire for something new? Or could it be the desire for two individuals who had lost connection along the way, or was it a mutual conclusion that they were not the “right fit” from the start? I thought it was the latter.

If we approached relationships as if we were shopping for a good pair of shoes, maybe we would all be more successful. The size, the fit, the look, the ease of slipping into every day and most importantly the ability to withstand the elements over years of wear- all crucial elements in the formula for comfort, sustainability, love and compatibility.

His profile read: I’m retired, married too young to my high school sweetheart for 29 years. Recently divorced. Was amicable. I do volunteering for the Humane Society, I clean cages, the the animals as fosters…sponsor at least 12 at a no kill shelter. It breaks my heart seeing all these abandoned animals. I better move on as I’m starting to tear up as I write this.

Iv’e done little dating as I seem to attract younger women and have no interest in someone half my age. The world of dating is scary even for a guy. Yes women are just as deceitful as men tend to be. I hate the fact that some date as if it were a sport. I’m not looking for friends with benefits or bed “buddies.”

While I commended this man for remaining friends with his ex, and his endearing profile and love for animals, I wasn’t quite sure we would be a fit. I know that after a long term marriage ends we hold on to old feelings for awhile and he was just divorced. I remember where my heart was after only a few short months of being solo. I need to try on a few more shoes!