The Dance Of Anger

Returning to those thoughts of being married and a couple for 30 years brought up emotions I never imagined I’d have after 8 years of being single.

All those memories, history, a shared life with one man and the family we created, all archived in pictures that were now stuffed away in a drawer…forgotten.

He threw me into this and I was all alone. He wasn’t. I was replaced and now I was pissed. Alas the stage of anger was rearing its ugly head. I had fought this notion feeling that I wanted him to be happy. Be he was responsible for pushing me to this unhappy place.

I never spent so many nights alone as I was now. Relationships were gone, friends disappeared and my kids were off living their own lives. I had too much time to think about my loneliness. Thank god for Netflix and HBO.

I needed to confront my ex and voice my grievances after all these years. How would I approach him now? What and how would he react? Drudging up the old was a necessary part of my total healing.

 

To see how Ann confronts her ex be sure to pick up her second book in a series of looking for love after divorce; THE NEW DANCE CARD Looking For Love Online. Her 8 year  journey of cautionary romantic and funny tales of dating in midlife is a reality many can relate t0.

 

visit her website; http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com    or http://www.anreichardt.com

Her new book should be released in a few weeks and will be available for preorders at Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple junes, kindle and ebook

 

 

 

 

DANCE OF ACCEPTANCE

As the weeks slipped by I thought about how it had been a long and arduous search for someone to love. Opening up my first dance card proved to be a necessary task, one filled with a revolving cast of colorful characters. A search that I did not want nor chose for myself. It was chosen for me after my divorce.

Having experienced the various dates in the past allowed me to see who it is that I was really looking for. I knew that we were all selective in our choices, a necessity as we are entering the last phases of our lives. I had not found that perfect fit yet.

Mr. Samba and I continued to collaborate on our ventures. Through our individual exploits we found ourselves creating separately and our communication became sporadic and a bit disconnected. I often thought that this may be ideal in creating a unified relationship.One that could sustain itself through hardship. Supporting and encouraging one another. However, for us the quantitative moments were becoming fewer and fewer.

I sat alone once again contemplating my books progression. There was not that day to day communication anymore and it always seemed to be text related. Once again that loss of continuity. I was accepting of this.

I decided not to return to that dating site for awhile. I needed time to myself. That would be my cure-all. My defense mechanisms arose again. Id armor myself with what integrity I had left. I needed to be resilient and move on.

 

Mr. Samba

As I reread Mr. Sambas profile I was reminded of our last and only meeting.

It would have been an unimaginable connection for me. Mr. Samba was a lovely dark skinned man, with deep set glorious brown eyes and  slightly greying short cut afro. He was luscious. I imagined his skin felt like butter. Culturally we would be different but I found that too to be intriguing.

I soon found that we are all the same when it comes to “love” and the things we are looking for in a partner. Mr. Samba was no different. But would he find little ole Annie the kind of woman he desired.

After reintroducing myself we began another long and clever dialogue. His was intellectually quirky yet brilliant. After all he was a promoter and knew all the right pitches to entice. I followed and returned the quips. It was fun and entertaining but I needed to see if he would fit into my idea of helping me through my new ventures.
“Im writing a book” Can I get your male perspective? I need a promoter for my stories. Interested?

He responded eagerly: “Really? Tell me more, whats your subject matter, who’s your audience, whats your market for the book? What contractual agreements do you have? I can supplement that. I SEE STARS!”

I sent him a rough draft of my manuscript. “Get ready for a wild ride”

“Saddling up.” he remarked.

The days flipped by and I didn’t hear from Samba. I was anxious to hear how he felt about the stories but I knew it d take time to digest all of it.

Finally he wrote: ” Whew the book was hot and so are you. Taking an ice cold shower now! I need to send you an extended response, but the lump in my throat moved south so quickly that it temporarily paralyzed me. The diversion of blood? It was so substantial that only one limb remained operative.”

OH MY DEAR GOD! HILARIOUS! I had to peel myself off the floor after reading his clever response.

 

To read more about Mr. Samba Ann outlines her adventures in her soon to be released book “THE NEW DANCE CARD” LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE

PLEASE FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER, FACE BOOK, LINKED IN.

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Mr. Samba (Collaborative dancer)

Returning to my safe middle of the road Midwestern town I was invigorated and  I felt a renewed fresh outlook on dating someone closer to me.

Back to the online dating site I perused the many faces that weren’t there a few weeks earlier. The one that stood out was a one time former date, 2 years prior, a connection that did not allow us to move forward to that second date for reasons that I would find out  why later.

His profile popped up through the cybernetic forces calling to me, “Look at me! Look at me!”

” Shared laughter and a positive outlook on life is a must.” I remembered those words and opened up is profile. Sure enough there he was. Mr. Samba.Tall, athletic, brilliant and cultured.

I beckoned back: “I remember our one and only meeting. You took me to a professional basketball game. It was a cold January evening but it was delightful. Have you found that lovely love of your life?

We reconnected. Discussing our family issues back then that prevented any further communication. My father was ill and had passed. His mother was suffering the beginning affects of Alzheimer’s. So here we were again ready to see if a second go round might be more successful.

He was a promoter of music and athletics. He loved sports and played throughout his collegiate years. A star basketball player. He was also brilliant. He was connected to many producers and movie moguls having lived in L.A. so the stories were extremely interesting.

During the 2 year absence I had started to write stories about relationships and the crap of enduring divorce. I chronicled my messages into a manuscript and was thinking of publishing. As it evolved I thought to myself this would be a great movie! A Romantic Comedy! Now all I needed was someone to help me promote it. Who better than Mr. Samba?

 

The next few years would prove to be some of the most incredible life changing events that I owe all to Mr. Samba.

 

To learn more about Mr. Samba and his genius be sure to look for Ann’s new book. “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online.    Her now 10 year journey is filled with insightful clues on dating again in midlife and the pitfalls and pleasantries of online dating.

Hilarious , romantic yet cautionary tales sure to intrigue all readers of any age.

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Mr. Lap Dance (sexual dancer)

Number 8 on my new dance card would be Mr. Lap dance. He was a mover and a shaker, hauling cargo around this vast country in a big rig that was his home on the road.

His profile read;

Im not into playing games I want something more than to meet my match online and get off this dating site.

Some important questions:

Are you emotionally stable? (yes or no)

Which of these do you have?

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

OCD

ADHD, ADD

Codependency

anorexia, bulimia

None of the above?

He was always on the road so our conversations were usually at night. After a month or so of communicating we decided to meet. It would be a mutually agreed upon location but it meant a long drive. I always seemed to be the one to drive to destinations and I was wondering why? Was I that desperate?  I remember a similar situation I had with Mr. Hustle and how disastrous that turned out. I need to inform my sister Susie of my plans…she would be my safety net.

That one  time meeting would leave me filled with doubt about the intentions of some.

To find out what happened with Mr. LAP DANCE Ann chronicles her dates in her soon to be released 2nd book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. A series of 3 books in her long arduous journey looking for love again in midlife.

Please visit her website http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

and get her first book”The Dance Card” Looking For love After Divorce

available on Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Kindle, Apple itunes

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Mr. Quick Step (quirky dancer)

With Mr Ballet gone.. I felt like just another swan along with others through his migration of flights of fancy.

Opening up my life to another man once again became a job. I wish I had been paid for all of this work. Maybe I should open up a counseling business on looking for love again. Maybe give speeches  expounding on changes in society regarding relationships, write advice columns…the modern day Ann Landers. Brilliant! I thought.

Ok, back to work to collect more empirical data. My laptop had been idle for awhile and I looked over the myriad of new members, immersing myself in their clever and yet some corny profiles .

“Married but Lonely”

“Love Spell”

Safe at home plate”

“No grandiosity”

‘Shadow master”

” Happy dancer”

“Laughs and Kisses”

“Officer and a gentleman”

It was interesting how I was drawn to certain headlines. I couldn’t read all the profiles so I chose “Happy Dancer” to start with.

It read: If you’re a quick-stepping, quick witted, and quick to laugh, adventurous lady, we will have fun together.

Im tall, blonde, divorced, 63 years old. The top ten reasons to consider me:

1.) I have all my hair, yes on my head.

2.) I squeeze toothpaste from the bottom.

3.) I drape toilet paper over the top.

4.) I can drive a stick.

5.) Read a map.

6.) Talk on my cell.

7.) Eat fast food. and

8.) find that 2 year old french fry under the drivers seat, all simultaneously.

9.) I like chick flicks.

10.) I will wash off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

 

Ok sounds like a fun guy. We have to meet and we did.

To find out  more on Mr. Quickstep Ann’s soon to be released “THE NEW DANCE CARD LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE will be available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Apple iTunes, Kindle ebooks

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Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com