Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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THAT KISS…

Closing the door on my long time friend after our hours long therapy session I became a bit nervous”Oh Boy” Was he so starved for affection that he was looking at me as his subject for those desirable romantic moments he was so longing for?

YIKES!  I better not go there. Cannot happen, never will. But he looked so deep into my eyes at that moment.- now what was I going to do? Off to bed I went consumed with those crazy thoughts.

That next morning I was exhausted from that night of being therapist to my friend Jeff. Then I thought, Shit what kind of therapy? marriage advice or sex therapy?  Would or should he be on my “Dance Card.” I knew he would reenter my life in hopes of finding love–maybe not with me, but then again who better to teach than the holder of the dance card.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Jeff. I wondered where he was in his marriage? He did not enlist my assistance after that day, I didn’t ask why. The last I heard was that he had read my first book that I wrote after the failure of my marriage. The stories describe my exhausting journey  jumping into the pool of online dating, looking for suitors to be potential long term loves in my life. Maybe he decided to stay.

His last words to me that night were,” I’d be happy with those few defining intimate moments with someone who’d make me smile. That is all I need. I can live with the rest, sad as it may be.”

I wondered if he found someone to share those pleasurable moments? I was happy it was not me?   MAYBE.

 

To find out what happened to Jeff be sure to look for my soon to be released book The New Dance Card, Looking For Love Online. It is a second in a 3 book series of searching for that right partner in life. The first book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce chronicles Ann’s beginning adventures in dating again after the end of her marriage. Aavailable on Amazon. com, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, Apple  i-tunes.

Ann Reichardt is a long time resident of Wisconsin and now lives in Scottsdale Arizona. She is a retired registered nurse and educator of the arts. Her oil paintings have been in several showings in New York City. She has illustrated  children’s books and is working on more. Her passion for the arts, theatre, singing performing has played a big role in her life. She has two daughters and a wonderful extended family that have supported her on this journey.

 

Contact: Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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Dance of a Wounded Friend

It was late and I decided to close up my screen of romantic desires and rest my weary eyes and not-so nimble fingers. Time to catch up on all those things I set aside: dishes, laundry the typical daily routines that needed attention.

Those chores were interrupted. A frantic phone call; much like the call I received a few years earlier from my girlfriend Beth. At that time she was in crisis mode, her husband was leaving her for another woman and wanted my help. They resolved that temporary glitch in their disrupted family life and they survived. That was 6 years ago. I was happy about that.

Today it would be her husband of 40 years, Jeff. He wanted “out” again and here was  good ole Annie to the rescue. I answered: He wanted to talk…

Opening this door of conversation was like opening the wounds from my past. I once again had to relive those exhausting grief filled moments of the loss I felt when my husband took off.

With apprehension I invited him over to talk. I knew all too well that I would have to choose between 2 friends that meant so much to me. How could I become allies with one and not the other? It felt as though I was playing with fire and I didn’t have an extinguisher to douse the flames.

He arrived, gave me a big hug and began to weep: “I don’t know how long I can stay in a loveless marriage? he cried in desperation “I feel as though I’m in limbo, a constant death, no resolution or finality to our problems. Help Annie, what am I in for?”

I was presently at peace with where I was in my life and I wasn’t about to tell Jeff to leave his wife; that was not for me to decide. I could only listen to his concerns and offer a sympathetic ear and impart some of my own personal experiences.

After an emotionally tiring 3 hours Jeff thanked me and said: ” All I want is to feel alive again. Just to have a few loving, romantic moments with someone who can return those feelings. You are a good friend Annie.” He pulled me close to his body, embraced me and attempted a kiss. Not “just a kiss” But a KISS….

To find out what happens be sure to look for my  soon to be released book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online”

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Thank you,

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Ann’s first book “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce is available at Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, kindle. This is where it all began!! Romantic, tittilating humorous tales of looking for love.

Shoes and Relationships…The Right Fit

The next audition for my New Dance Card:  A 52 year old Aerospace engineer, recently divorced with 2 kids. I was seeing a pattern: the age and stage of life seems to be a turning point. Is it the desire for something new? Or could it be the desire for two individuals who had lost connection along the way, or was it a mutual conclusion that they were not the “right fit” from the start? I thought it was the latter.

If we approached relationships as if we were shopping for a good pair of shoes, maybe we would all be more successful. The size, the fit, the look, the ease of slipping into every day and most importantly the ability to withstand the elements over years of wear- all crucial elements in the formula for comfort, sustainability, love and compatibility.

His profile read: I’m retired, married too young to my high school sweetheart for 29 years. Recently divorced. Was amicable. I do volunteering for the Humane Society, I clean cages, the the animals as fosters…sponsor at least 12 at a no kill shelter. It breaks my heart seeing all these abandoned animals. I better move on as I’m starting to tear up as I write this.

Iv’e done little dating as I seem to attract younger women and have no interest in someone half my age. The world of dating is scary even for a guy. Yes women are just as deceitful as men tend to be. I hate the fact that some date as if it were a sport. I’m not looking for friends with benefits or bed “buddies.”

While I commended this man for remaining friends with his ex, and his endearing profile and love for animals, I wasn’t quite sure we would be a fit. I know that after a long term marriage ends we hold on to old feelings for awhile and he was just divorced. I remember where my heart was after only a few short months of being solo. I need to try on a few more shoes!

Next Profiles of Discourage

Back to my secretary, my mac book air, the only friend I had over the years in assisting in finding a man. Someone who would fit in my new life. Ah so man profiles to peruse. It was getting to be a job. Why are there so many of us out there? Single and alone. I moved on to the next profile.

It read: ” Former Geek continuing transformation. Now sensitive, eclectic, and brainy is good- who knew? I’m charming,funny, witty and polite. Really! Mom said so! Actually so do my friends and coworkers(all partnered, no help there). Don’t live with my parents or friends. Sorry not a fan of coffee. ( I know that’s a big one) I have never been arrested or spent time in jail. I don’t sew or crochet. The first thing I notice is a woman’s hands. Yes seriously. I will add other things as we go through the journey.

No I don’t have a motorcycle and no plans to ever get one. I don’t have any tattoos or piercings. Yes I wear glasses, not contacts(the geek in me), I have all my limbs and no dentures( yes I was once asked that). Have never done drugs. Yes, I have a job and get paid.”

I thought silly profile but kinda cute. His message sure got my attention and made me smile I wondered if he really was geeky. Was he highly intellectual. By joining  any dating site there is a sense of non commitment and safety in just the written word. Could he handle the challenge of meeting someone face-to-face? I decided to play that “waiting game” with him. That time between reading and responding: hitting that reply button. You never know who will be interested.

 

For the continuing story on this date … be sure to pick up Ann’s soon to be released “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. It is a followup of her book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce now available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Kindle and I-Tunes

 

For more information on Ann follow her website at http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Mr. Twist… Hearttolove

The Twist is a provocative dance inspired by rock and roll music in the 1950s, with origins traced back to West Africa with its pelvic thrust movements and shuffling of the feet. Today most remember the twist as a simple dance catapulted to fame by Chubby Checker in the 1960s when he performed on The Dick Clark show American Bandstand.

I read his lengthy profile and decided to say “Hello” through the online dating site.

His personal response was even more elaborate: It included being humble and trustworthy and romantic and God fearing. He detested liars. He stated that the reason so many men and women don’t have success in relationships is because we are all concerned about our own personal gain instead of examining what we each have to offer in a relationship. He went on and on about growing together emotionally, spiritually and physically and so forth.  Blah Blah Blah… “Yah, don’t we all know this?”

He was persistent in having me give him my email address so that we could further our communication offline. He claimed he was an engineer and in Nigeria working.  BUT his writing was inconsistent in the English language. I figured he was a foreigner. What was he doing in Nigeria? I was a bit apprehensive.

My curiosity took hold and I did respond… via the site but his profile disappeared. The dating site posted  a message saying the username “HEARTTOLOVE” did not exist.

No problem, I thought, I hadn’t invested any time in him. Maybe he found someone else who would fit into his dream world– in Nigeria.

Shortly thereafter, I received a direct message from another member on the dating site. She wrote” Be aware that ‘Hearttolove’is the name of a Nigerian scammer targeting women. He scammed me out of thousands of dollars. He calls himself ‘Twister.’This man is charming, sexy and good looking but the pictures are also stolen identity. Please do not send money.”

I greatly appreciated this woman from the dating site. She was playing the role I had played with Mr. Hustle. Her mission was to make other women aware that not everyone is looking for “true love.”

Many times I have been asked” How can you put yourself out there and not know what your’e getting into? My answer is always the same:

“Until you have walked in my dancing shoes, you’ll never know the task of finding someone to fill  your loveless life. Hopefully you never will. So  my uninformed friend stay content with your life and who you chose to be with in this life. If someday you find yourself in a similar situation…come to me and say “Ah! I understand.”

On to the next profile…

 

For more information and to follow Ann Reichardt be sure to read her first book ” The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce. available on Amazon. com. Barnes& Noble, Apple itunes and Kindle.

Her follow up book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online continues her journey in searching for that right partner in love and life.

“Life Is A Dance”

Ann Reichardt

608 513 0521

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com