Shoes and Relationships…The Right Fit

The next audition for my New Dance Card:  A 52 year old Aerospace engineer, recently divorced with 2 kids. I was seeing a pattern: the age and stage of life seems to be a turning point. Is it the desire for something new? Or could it be the desire for two individuals who had lost connection along the way, or was it a mutual conclusion that they were not the “right fit” from the start? I thought it was the latter.

If we approached relationships as if we were shopping for a good pair of shoes, maybe we would all be more successful. The size, the fit, the look, the ease of slipping into every day and most importantly the ability to withstand the elements over years of wear- all crucial elements in the formula for comfort, sustainability, love and compatibility.

His profile read: I’m retired, married too young to my high school sweetheart for 29 years. Recently divorced. Was amicable. I do volunteering for the Humane Society, I clean cages, the the animals as fosters…sponsor at least 12 at a no kill shelter. It breaks my heart seeing all these abandoned animals. I better move on as I’m starting to tear up as I write this.

Iv’e done little dating as I seem to attract younger women and have no interest in someone half my age. The world of dating is scary even for a guy. Yes women are just as deceitful as men tend to be. I hate the fact that some date as if it were a sport. I’m not looking for friends with benefits or bed “buddies.”

While I commended this man for remaining friends with his ex, and his endearing profile and love for animals, I wasn’t quite sure we would be a fit. I know that after a long term marriage ends we hold on to old feelings for awhile and he was just divorced. I remember where my heart was after only a few short months of being solo. I need to try on a few more shoes!

Next Profiles of Discourage

Back to my secretary, my mac book air, the only friend I had over the years in assisting in finding a man. Someone who would fit in my new life. Ah so man profiles to peruse. It was getting to be a job. Why are there so many of us out there? Single and alone. I moved on to the next profile.

It read: ” Former Geek continuing transformation. Now sensitive, eclectic, and brainy is good- who knew? I’m charming,funny, witty and polite. Really! Mom said so! Actually so do my friends and coworkers(all partnered, no help there). Don’t live with my parents or friends. Sorry not a fan of coffee. ( I know that’s a big one) I have never been arrested or spent time in jail. I don’t sew or crochet. The first thing I notice is a woman’s hands. Yes seriously. I will add other things as we go through the journey.

No I don’t have a motorcycle and no plans to ever get one. I don’t have any tattoos or piercings. Yes I wear glasses, not contacts(the geek in me), I have all my limbs and no dentures( yes I was once asked that). Have never done drugs. Yes, I have a job and get paid.”

I thought silly profile but kinda cute. His message sure got my attention and made me smile I wondered if he really was geeky. Was he highly intellectual. By joining  any dating site there is a sense of non commitment and safety in just the written word. Could he handle the challenge of meeting someone face-to-face? I decided to play that “waiting game” with him. That time between reading and responding: hitting that reply button. You never know who will be interested.

 

For the continuing story on this date … be sure to pick up Ann’s soon to be released “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. It is a followup of her book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce now available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Kindle and I-Tunes

 

For more information on Ann follow her website at http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Mr. Twist… Hearttolove

The Twist is a provocative dance inspired by rock and roll music in the 1950s, with origins traced back to West Africa with its pelvic thrust movements and shuffling of the feet. Today most remember the twist as a simple dance catapulted to fame by Chubby Checker in the 1960s when he performed on The Dick Clark show American Bandstand.

I read his lengthy profile and decided to say “Hello” through the online dating site.

His personal response was even more elaborate: It included being humble and trustworthy and romantic and God fearing. He detested liars. He stated that the reason so many men and women don’t have success in relationships is because we are all concerned about our own personal gain instead of examining what we each have to offer in a relationship. He went on and on about growing together emotionally, spiritually and physically and so forth.  Blah Blah Blah… “Yah, don’t we all know this?”

He was persistent in having me give him my email address so that we could further our communication offline. He claimed he was an engineer and in Nigeria working.  BUT his writing was inconsistent in the English language. I figured he was a foreigner. What was he doing in Nigeria? I was a bit apprehensive.

My curiosity took hold and I did respond… via the site but his profile disappeared. The dating site posted  a message saying the username “HEARTTOLOVE” did not exist.

No problem, I thought, I hadn’t invested any time in him. Maybe he found someone else who would fit into his dream world– in Nigeria.

Shortly thereafter, I received a direct message from another member on the dating site. She wrote” Be aware that ‘Hearttolove’is the name of a Nigerian scammer targeting women. He scammed me out of thousands of dollars. He calls himself ‘Twister.’This man is charming, sexy and good looking but the pictures are also stolen identity. Please do not send money.”

I greatly appreciated this woman from the dating site. She was playing the role I had played with Mr. Hustle. Her mission was to make other women aware that not everyone is looking for “true love.”

Many times I have been asked” How can you put yourself out there and not know what your’e getting into? My answer is always the same:

“Until you have walked in my dancing shoes, you’ll never know the task of finding someone to fill  your loveless life. Hopefully you never will. So  my uninformed friend stay content with your life and who you chose to be with in this life. If someday you find yourself in a similar situation…come to me and say “Ah! I understand.”

On to the next profile…

 

For more information and to follow Ann Reichardt be sure to read her first book ” The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce. available on Amazon. com. Barnes& Noble, Apple itunes and Kindle.

Her follow up book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online continues her journey in searching for that right partner in love and life.

“Life Is A Dance”

Ann Reichardt

608 513 0521

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

 

 

 

Mr. Jazz ( analytical dancer)

Exhausted after my ordeal with Mr. Hustle, I became disheartened and disappointed in not finding someone who was real, normal, trustworthy and compatible. Was it at all possible? I remained optimistic and returned to the digital  mindset of todays world. Opening up my Mac laptop I would begin my search again.

The next profile made me smile;

“Life can be easy, especially when you are in a little black dress.” He was 50 years old, divorced, two children.

I continued to read because I LOVED my little black dresses.

“Love my ex-wife. Don’t regret any of it. Okay here is the meat and potatoes of my profile:

What I’m really looking for is a drama queen, someone who needs constant attention, complains I never leave them alone. Someone who is never satisfied with life. Someone who looks terrible in a little black dress and just as bad in t-shirt and jeans. You must hate to go out for a night on the town and really hate staying at home snuggling on the couch. Oh and yes, kids and family are not important to you at all. Must have loads and loads of baggage. I will allow three checked bags and two carry-ons. Sound good? Send me an email. Scratch that whole looking bad in a little black dress thing. I’m a guy and really like the way a woman wears a little black dress, or whatever color dress… or nothing at all. Are we clear on that?”

Yup, I was totally clear on that and up for the challenges. I winked, Not Blinked and sent a quick message.

To follow Mr. Jazz be sure to look for my new book “The New Dance Card” soon to be released. Its a follow up to my book ‘The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce available on Amazon.com Barnes& Noble, Apple I tunes and kindle.

please follow and repost

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

available for interviews

Mr. Hustle (cont.)

Her name was Sylvia, she was from Argentina. An international Bridge player who connected with Walum (will always love you more) She tried to warn me about this guy, he was not truthful about anything in his life,  particularly about his wife being dead.

I hadn’t assigned him a dance name in the beginning but I soon found out that Hustle was appropriate. Apparently he wooed women with his deceptive stories, all for sexual encounters. I would be leery of this player but I wanted to continue to follow him to see if  my Argentinian friend was right.

Sylvia and I chatted frequently about her plight… He had promised her a lifetime of love and happiness. She traveled to see him in the States and connected intimately. She was “IN LOVE” This lie became evident on her return to her homeland. He didn’t call her, he connected with other women through the Bridge site casting his spells on them, much like Sylvia. Poor lonely hearts.

Sylvia would now try to let all the other unsuspecting women of this guys game. And she did. Messaging all the ladies he frequently played Bridge with, Mr. Hustle’s wife was alive and he did not have children nor was he employed. He was questionable for an STD or God forbid another life threatening sexually transmitted disease.

Thank you Sylvia… You are fearless.

To read more about Mr. Hustle  in my soon to be released book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

relationship guide and expert

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Mr. Foxtrot….Follow Your Heart…And Your Gut

My very first enlistment on my second “dance card’ is Mr. Foxtrot. He is slow  and smooth, reminiscent of my most endearing dancer Mr. Waltz. It is often referred to as the Rolls Royce of the standard dances: beautiful, romantic conjuring up images of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire gliding with ease across the stage.

It had been several days since I first connected with him. but I knew waiting was part of the drill.. I was not disappointed, just realistic in knowing that delayed gratification was the pattern of online dating.

Then in came the message: Hello you must be Annie,the little orphaned girl looking for that perfect family to take you into their hearts. I would love to be your Daddy Warbucks.

I was now ready to release the past and move forward I need to formulate a clever pitch, a perfect introduction to this witty guy.

“It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I have kicked those hard days. I wanted to abandon those ragamuffin clothes for refined attire and move to the big city. That sun will certainly be coming out tomorrow-with you.”

“Annie, bet your bottom dollar. Tomorrow and the next day and the next You are fun!  Are you ready for an adventure?”

“More than ready but if your’e envisioning a feisty curly haired red head you are going to be greatly disappointed.”

” I know exactly what you look like from your profile picture. Don’t change a thing.” ‘You’re Annie?’ Sam (Tom Hanks) says at the top of the Empire State building in Sleepless in Seattle. I would love to be Sam Reed and you Annie Baldwin, a chance meeting at the top  would be romantic. Can you hear the song playing now? Jimmy Durante singing ‘As Time Goes By'”

I thought “How sweet” But I also remembered my last dancer Mr. Waltz and how I got caught up in all of his romantic rhetoric. I was cautious now.

The next long email came in from Mr. Foxtrot. That foxy guy chasing me into a world of romantic screen plays, with soundtracks to stir the emotions. This time he wrote, “Annie, you are ShopGirl(Kathleen Kelly) and I am NY152(Joe Fox), in “You’ve Got Mail” She prefers the laptop I prefer you. Imagine the two of us meeting at that garden of eden at the end of our journey, our electronic journey. When we “fall in love” again, it will be forever. I’m your Mr. Joe Foxtrot.

At this point I was getting a little apprehensive about this guy. I saw him as the fox and the chase was his thrill. All the silly dialogue clouded my sense of reality.He became that bachelor behind the proverbial screen and I was eyeing that this match game needed to end. Trot away Mr. Foxtrot. Trot away

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

please repost and like

 

Dancing In The Stars

Returning to my laptop, my secretary that guided me through my last adventures in looking for love after divorce for the past 8 years I felt it was time to reach into that cyberspace once again. All those stars out there, the many men and women looking to find that one that would make their lives bright; it was time to start dancing again.

“WINKS” as they are referred to on the online dating sites provide an initial introduction to a person letting them know they are interested in beginning a connection. I would like to refer to them as ‘BLINKS” because that is how fast it is to connect and then disconnect.

My very first “Wink” A man in his fifties. Tall, dark, and with a full head of hair, separated, no kids.

His profile reads: The calendar has again turned the page on another season. What do these pages hold in store for us? Shall we find out together? Yet another spring is slowly turning into summer. The spring plants are thirsty for the rains to renew their blossoms. Without the raid no plants will grow and no flowers will bloom. We also need something to refresh and renew our spirits. Are you thirsty for a relationship that will refresh your soul and renew that spirit?

Interesting, thoughtful and a touch of femininity. These words were lovely but I wanted a “man’s man” Someone who would pick me up off that dance floor with force and strength catapult me into a relationship that would equal the passion of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. I didn’t think he was the Burton type. With a BLINK I decided not to respond.

I found out that it was impossible to reply to all the would be suitors out in”cyberspace” I knew it was unkind and I am typically a nice person but it became exhausting. I could now understand how a literary agent felt; receiving countless queries from wannabe authors, in hopes their manuscripts- and in this case, profiles- would not be another heap of meaningless script tossed in the slush pile. I had to do some tossing…Moving On.

WINK #2 “Some kinda ecstasy gotta a hold on me”

WINK#3 “Heart has healed and ready to make friends”

WINK #4 “No job, no car, live with parents”

REALLY? BLINK …

WINK#5 A 65-year-old widowed man from Seattle

His profile read: Release the past. Live in today. Plan for tomorrow. Love starts with a smile. developed with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The romance is in the kiss…only kindred sprits should apply!

Good solid advice, I thought so I kept reading.

My closest friends describe me as funny, creative, and passionate about living. I’m just a nice gut who smiles a lot and loves life. I have had a charmed life. I met the girl I was born to love and we had a fairytale romance for 35 years. She passed away 8 years ago and now it is time for me to move on…she would have wanted it that way. I am ready to dance.

AH! NO BLINK HERE…A potential partner

TO BE CONTINUED

Ann Reichardt

relationship coach

contact:

annreichardt@aol.com

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com