The Dance Of Anger

Returning to those thoughts of being married and a couple for 30 years brought up emotions I never imagined I’d have after 8 years of being single.

All those memories, history, a shared life with one man and the family we created, all archived in pictures that were now stuffed away in a drawer…forgotten.

He threw me into this and I was all alone. He wasn’t. I was replaced and now I was pissed. Alas the stage of anger was rearing its ugly head. I had fought this notion feeling that I wanted him to be happy. Be he was responsible for pushing me to this unhappy place.

I never spent so many nights alone as I was now. Relationships were gone, friends disappeared and my kids were off living their own lives. I had too much time to think about my loneliness. Thank god for Netflix and HBO.

I needed to confront my ex and voice my grievances after all these years. How would I approach him now? What and how would he react? Drudging up the old was a necessary part of my total healing.

 

To see how Ann confronts her ex be sure to pick up her second book in a series of looking for love after divorce; THE NEW DANCE CARD Looking For Love Online. Her 8 year  journey of cautionary romantic and funny tales of dating in midlife is a reality many can relate t0.

 

visit her website; http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com    or http://www.anreichardt.com

Her new book should be released in a few weeks and will be available for preorders at Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple junes, kindle and ebook

 

 

 

 

Dance of Resolution

That day left me without hope that Id ever find someone to fill the void in my life. I was appreciative of all that I had accomplished in my 63 years. Id moved forward with my projects alone henceforth. However, I was afraid that being alone might compromise my health and well being.

My divorce 8 years ago took its toll. My health deteriorated and my immune system shot. I went through the emotions of despair and recovery. My desperation  to maintain a foothold of my once happy and secure self became all encompassing. To move forward in a more positive direction in hopes of healing myself and my once unified family I had to open myself up to unimaginable vulnerabilities

When approaching my new dancers there was a new found security in myself that brought my grieving process to a halt. My inner strength, ignoring all the phases of the grieving, kept my anger at bay. Many times my friends would remark at my fortitude and ability to accept things without the anger. My response would always be, “Anger is a wasted emotion.”

Today I was questioning my whole line of thinking on that, especially after having muddle through this murky pool of dating and not be able to identify a partner that would be good for me. What was the reason for this? I began to wonder if I had not completed healing those wounds from my divorce.

My  days and nights were spent in solitude. Moments of despair resurfaced; more now than ever before. I thought I was finished with all of that? This surprised me. Now I was beginning to feel that anger.

I thought about how society is so couples oriented. The many events typical for a couple were unavailable to me: dinner parties, athletic events, movies, family gatherings, drives in the country, travel and simple conversations to share with someone. All GONE!

Those wounds from my first despair needed to be cared for.

 

To find out how Ann moves forward…be sure to pick up her new book soon to be released “THE NEW DANCE CARD” LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE   It will be available on Amazon.com, Barnes& Noble, Apple i-tunes, Kindle, ebooks, nook

 

Mr. Samba (Collaborative dancer)

Returning to my safe middle of the road Midwestern town I was invigorated and  I felt a renewed fresh outlook on dating someone closer to me.

Back to the online dating site I perused the many faces that weren’t there a few weeks earlier. The one that stood out was a one time former date, 2 years prior, a connection that did not allow us to move forward to that second date for reasons that I would find out  why later.

His profile popped up through the cybernetic forces calling to me, “Look at me! Look at me!”

” Shared laughter and a positive outlook on life is a must.” I remembered those words and opened up is profile. Sure enough there he was. Mr. Samba.Tall, athletic, brilliant and cultured.

I beckoned back: “I remember our one and only meeting. You took me to a professional basketball game. It was a cold January evening but it was delightful. Have you found that lovely love of your life?

We reconnected. Discussing our family issues back then that prevented any further communication. My father was ill and had passed. His mother was suffering the beginning affects of Alzheimer’s. So here we were again ready to see if a second go round might be more successful.

He was a promoter of music and athletics. He loved sports and played throughout his collegiate years. A star basketball player. He was also brilliant. He was connected to many producers and movie moguls having lived in L.A. so the stories were extremely interesting.

During the 2 year absence I had started to write stories about relationships and the crap of enduring divorce. I chronicled my messages into a manuscript and was thinking of publishing. As it evolved I thought to myself this would be a great movie! A Romantic Comedy! Now all I needed was someone to help me promote it. Who better than Mr. Samba?

 

The next few years would prove to be some of the most incredible life changing events that I owe all to Mr. Samba.

 

To learn more about Mr. Samba and his genius be sure to look for Ann’s new book. “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online.    Her now 10 year journey is filled with insightful clues on dating again in midlife and the pitfalls and pleasantries of online dating.

Hilarious , romantic yet cautionary tales sure to intrigue all readers of any age.

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Mr. Quick Step (quirky dancer)

With Mr Ballet gone.. I felt like just another swan along with others through his migration of flights of fancy.

Opening up my life to another man once again became a job. I wish I had been paid for all of this work. Maybe I should open up a counseling business on looking for love again. Maybe give speeches  expounding on changes in society regarding relationships, write advice columns…the modern day Ann Landers. Brilliant! I thought.

Ok, back to work to collect more empirical data. My laptop had been idle for awhile and I looked over the myriad of new members, immersing myself in their clever and yet some corny profiles .

“Married but Lonely”

“Love Spell”

Safe at home plate”

“No grandiosity”

‘Shadow master”

” Happy dancer”

“Laughs and Kisses”

“Officer and a gentleman”

It was interesting how I was drawn to certain headlines. I couldn’t read all the profiles so I chose “Happy Dancer” to start with.

It read: If you’re a quick-stepping, quick witted, and quick to laugh, adventurous lady, we will have fun together.

Im tall, blonde, divorced, 63 years old. The top ten reasons to consider me:

1.) I have all my hair, yes on my head.

2.) I squeeze toothpaste from the bottom.

3.) I drape toilet paper over the top.

4.) I can drive a stick.

5.) Read a map.

6.) Talk on my cell.

7.) Eat fast food. and

8.) find that 2 year old french fry under the drivers seat, all simultaneously.

9.) I like chick flicks.

10.) I will wash off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

 

Ok sounds like a fun guy. We have to meet and we did.

To find out  more on Mr. Quickstep Ann’s soon to be released “THE NEW DANCE CARD LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE will be available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Apple iTunes, Kindle ebooks

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Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

THAT KISS…

Closing the door on my long time friend after our hours long therapy session I became a bit nervous”Oh Boy” Was he so starved for affection that he was looking at me as his subject for those desirable romantic moments he was so longing for?

YIKES!  I better not go there. Cannot happen, never will. But he looked so deep into my eyes at that moment.- now what was I going to do? Off to bed I went consumed with those crazy thoughts.

That next morning I was exhausted from that night of being therapist to my friend Jeff. Then I thought, Shit what kind of therapy? marriage advice or sex therapy?  Would or should he be on my “Dance Card.” I knew he would reenter my life in hopes of finding love–maybe not with me, but then again who better to teach than the holder of the dance card.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Jeff. I wondered where he was in his marriage? He did not enlist my assistance after that day, I didn’t ask why. The last I heard was that he had read my first book that I wrote after the failure of my marriage. The stories describe my exhausting journey  jumping into the pool of online dating, looking for suitors to be potential long term loves in my life. Maybe he decided to stay.

His last words to me that night were,” I’d be happy with those few defining intimate moments with someone who’d make me smile. That is all I need. I can live with the rest, sad as it may be.”

I wondered if he found someone to share those pleasurable moments? I was happy it was not me?   MAYBE.

 

To find out what happened to Jeff be sure to look for my soon to be released book The New Dance Card, Looking For Love Online. It is a second in a 3 book series of searching for that right partner in life. The first book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce chronicles Ann’s beginning adventures in dating again after the end of her marriage. Aavailable on Amazon. com, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, Apple  i-tunes.

Ann Reichardt is a long time resident of Wisconsin and now lives in Scottsdale Arizona. She is a retired registered nurse and educator of the arts. Her oil paintings have been in several showings in New York City. She has illustrated  children’s books and is working on more. Her passion for the arts, theatre, singing performing has played a big role in her life. She has two daughters and a wonderful extended family that have supported her on this journey.

 

Contact: Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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