Love On The Dance Floor

In love and in life we are challenged to the core. Our knee jerk instincts on issues and feelings are pushed around against our wills at times. I had a lot of knee jerks in the past 8 years. I had danced with many guys throughout my search for that perfect partner. I was stronger now and had learned a lot about dating and the importance of being selective in choosing the appropriate man for me.

Decision making in finding a promising relationship through online dating gives us all more romantic options than previous generations. In my ” senior years” I unraveled important clues before taking the plunge. Know who you are, independent of someone else. Do not idealize a relationship. Compromise is key. A persons internal values become more important than the superficial attributes.

I identified styles and personalities and shared familiar events or stages in life became important in determining success or failure in a successful relationship. Breaking down our walls of pain and apprehension, letting go of the wounds of the past help in moving forward in a positive way.

After reflecting on those past years I wiped away the tears and thought of my former husband again. It was clear that I’d always refer back to him. He used to be that guy that I could rely on and come to over those marital years.He couldn’t be there for me anymore and I respected that and his new life.

Continuing my search for love was a job at times but mostly a fun journey. One that helped me discover who I am and what I want in a relationship.  I danced a lot with many dancers. I hoped that I too was an important part in helping them figure out who they were looking for as well. We were all learning, evolving. I still hadn’t found the right dancer but I was determined to continue this quest of finding that partner that would complete my dance of love and life.

The Dance Of Anger

Returning to those thoughts of being married and a couple for 30 years brought up emotions I never imagined I’d have after 8 years of being single.

All those memories, history, a shared life with one man and the family we created, all archived in pictures that were now stuffed away in a drawer…forgotten.

He threw me into this and I was all alone. He wasn’t. I was replaced and now I was pissed. Alas the stage of anger was rearing its ugly head. I had fought this notion feeling that I wanted him to be happy. Be he was responsible for pushing me to this unhappy place.

I never spent so many nights alone as I was now. Relationships were gone, friends disappeared and my kids were off living their own lives. I had too much time to think about my loneliness. Thank god for Netflix and HBO.

I needed to confront my ex and voice my grievances after all these years. How would I approach him now? What and how would he react? Drudging up the old was a necessary part of my total healing.

 

To see how Ann confronts her ex be sure to pick up her second book in a series of looking for love after divorce; THE NEW DANCE CARD Looking For Love Online. Her 8 year  journey of cautionary romantic and funny tales of dating in midlife is a reality many can relate t0.

 

visit her website; http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com    or http://www.anreichardt.com

Her new book should be released in a few weeks and will be available for preorders at Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple junes, kindle and ebook

 

 

 

 

DANCE OF ACCEPTANCE

As the weeks slipped by I thought about how it had been a long and arduous search for someone to love. Opening up my first dance card proved to be a necessary task, one filled with a revolving cast of colorful characters. A search that I did not want nor chose for myself. It was chosen for me after my divorce.

Having experienced the various dates in the past allowed me to see who it is that I was really looking for. I knew that we were all selective in our choices, a necessity as we are entering the last phases of our lives. I had not found that perfect fit yet.

Mr. Samba and I continued to collaborate on our ventures. Through our individual exploits we found ourselves creating separately and our communication became sporadic and a bit disconnected. I often thought that this may be ideal in creating a unified relationship.One that could sustain itself through hardship. Supporting and encouraging one another. However, for us the quantitative moments were becoming fewer and fewer.

I sat alone once again contemplating my books progression. There was not that day to day communication anymore and it always seemed to be text related. Once again that loss of continuity. I was accepting of this.

I decided not to return to that dating site for awhile. I needed time to myself. That would be my cure-all. My defense mechanisms arose again. Id armor myself with what integrity I had left. I needed to be resilient and move on.

 

Mr Moonwalk (Delusional dancer)

It was now spring 2014 and I was looking forward to some warm days to lift my spirits after so many gloomy days of continual disappointment in my dating adventures. I m going to rename The New Dance Card … Profiles of Discourage.

Maybe a change of pace to somewhere warm, a little tennis in that sunshine state. Perhaps meet a handsome tennis pro. Serve and volley all day and surf the net at night?

Off to Florida I went. The next entry onto my list referred to himself as “The Pied Piper of The Sea” He was tall, handsome, fit, with golden locks. Never married, no children.Worked on wall street as a successful day trader but lost it all during the financial meltdown. He traded the hustle and bustle of New York to relocate to the golden sands of Siesta Key, now combing those pristine sands in search of a treasure. Gold perhaps or a rich snow bird.

He was a bronzed god in royal blue swim trunks, faded visor and beach chair in hand looking to reinvest in some older broad who is vulnerable to his charming advances. His new pot of Gold.

I tagged him as Mr. Moonwalk because its a dance that gives the illusion of moving forward when actually the moves are backwards. His were just that for every step he took towards me. We had an interesting interchange during my visit. He confided that he had football injuries and was nursing a wounded foot. It oozed infection. I became the nurse at this point imparting medical advice. He didn’t listen. He feared losing his foot or even the entire leg. He had daily massages to keep his lymph system flowing. He invited me to see his massage table. Oh my dear God!

Would I be that NURSE or that PURSE?

To find out what Ann does with Mr. Moonwalk check out her New book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online soon to be released and available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Apple iTunes

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Mr. Lap Dance (sexual dancer)

Number 8 on my new dance card would be Mr. Lap dance. He was a mover and a shaker, hauling cargo around this vast country in a big rig that was his home on the road.

His profile read;

Im not into playing games I want something more than to meet my match online and get off this dating site.

Some important questions:

Are you emotionally stable? (yes or no)

Which of these do you have?

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

OCD

ADHD, ADD

Codependency

anorexia, bulimia

None of the above?

He was always on the road so our conversations were usually at night. After a month or so of communicating we decided to meet. It would be a mutually agreed upon location but it meant a long drive. I always seemed to be the one to drive to destinations and I was wondering why? Was I that desperate?  I remember a similar situation I had with Mr. Hustle and how disastrous that turned out. I need to inform my sister Susie of my plans…she would be my safety net.

That one  time meeting would leave me filled with doubt about the intentions of some.

To find out what happened with Mr. LAP DANCE Ann chronicles her dates in her soon to be released 2nd book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. A series of 3 books in her long arduous journey looking for love again in midlife.

Please visit her website http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

and get her first book”The Dance Card” Looking For love After Divorce

available on Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Kindle, Apple itunes

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THAT KISS…

Closing the door on my long time friend after our hours long therapy session I became a bit nervous”Oh Boy” Was he so starved for affection that he was looking at me as his subject for those desirable romantic moments he was so longing for?

YIKES!  I better not go there. Cannot happen, never will. But he looked so deep into my eyes at that moment.- now what was I going to do? Off to bed I went consumed with those crazy thoughts.

That next morning I was exhausted from that night of being therapist to my friend Jeff. Then I thought, Shit what kind of therapy? marriage advice or sex therapy?  Would or should he be on my “Dance Card.” I knew he would reenter my life in hopes of finding love–maybe not with me, but then again who better to teach than the holder of the dance card.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Jeff. I wondered where he was in his marriage? He did not enlist my assistance after that day, I didn’t ask why. The last I heard was that he had read my first book that I wrote after the failure of my marriage. The stories describe my exhausting journey  jumping into the pool of online dating, looking for suitors to be potential long term loves in my life. Maybe he decided to stay.

His last words to me that night were,” I’d be happy with those few defining intimate moments with someone who’d make me smile. That is all I need. I can live with the rest, sad as it may be.”

I wondered if he found someone to share those pleasurable moments? I was happy it was not me?   MAYBE.

 

To find out what happened to Jeff be sure to look for my soon to be released book The New Dance Card, Looking For Love Online. It is a second in a 3 book series of searching for that right partner in life. The first book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce chronicles Ann’s beginning adventures in dating again after the end of her marriage. Aavailable on Amazon. com, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, Apple  i-tunes.

Ann Reichardt is a long time resident of Wisconsin and now lives in Scottsdale Arizona. She is a retired registered nurse and educator of the arts. Her oil paintings have been in several showings in New York City. She has illustrated  children’s books and is working on more. Her passion for the arts, theatre, singing performing has played a big role in her life. She has two daughters and a wonderful extended family that have supported her on this journey.

 

Contact: Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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Mr. Jazz ( analytical dancer)

Exhausted after my ordeal with Mr. Hustle, I became disheartened and disappointed in not finding someone who was real, normal, trustworthy and compatible. Was it at all possible? I remained optimistic and returned to the digital  mindset of todays world. Opening up my Mac laptop I would begin my search again.

The next profile made me smile;

“Life can be easy, especially when you are in a little black dress.” He was 50 years old, divorced, two children.

I continued to read because I LOVED my little black dresses.

“Love my ex-wife. Don’t regret any of it. Okay here is the meat and potatoes of my profile:

What I’m really looking for is a drama queen, someone who needs constant attention, complains I never leave them alone. Someone who is never satisfied with life. Someone who looks terrible in a little black dress and just as bad in t-shirt and jeans. You must hate to go out for a night on the town and really hate staying at home snuggling on the couch. Oh and yes, kids and family are not important to you at all. Must have loads and loads of baggage. I will allow three checked bags and two carry-ons. Sound good? Send me an email. Scratch that whole looking bad in a little black dress thing. I’m a guy and really like the way a woman wears a little black dress, or whatever color dress… or nothing at all. Are we clear on that?”

Yup, I was totally clear on that and up for the challenges. I winked, Not Blinked and sent a quick message.

To follow Mr. Jazz be sure to look for my new book “The New Dance Card” soon to be released. Its a follow up to my book ‘The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce available on Amazon.com Barnes& Noble, Apple I tunes and kindle.

please follow and repost

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

available for interviews