Mr. Foxtrot….Follow Your Heart…And Your Gut

My very first enlistment on my second “dance card’ is Mr. Foxtrot. He is slow  and smooth, reminiscent of my most endearing dancer Mr. Waltz. It is often referred to as the Rolls Royce of the standard dances: beautiful, romantic conjuring up images of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire gliding with ease across the stage.

It had been several days since I first connected with him. but I knew waiting was part of the drill.. I was not disappointed, just realistic in knowing that delayed gratification was the pattern of online dating.

Then in came the message: Hello you must be Annie,the little orphaned girl looking for that perfect family to take you into their hearts. I would love to be your Daddy Warbucks.

I was now ready to release the past and move forward I need to formulate a clever pitch, a perfect introduction to this witty guy.

“It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I have kicked those hard days. I wanted to abandon those ragamuffin clothes for refined attire and move to the big city. That sun will certainly be coming out tomorrow-with you.”

“Annie, bet your bottom dollar. Tomorrow and the next day and the next You are fun!  Are you ready for an adventure?”

“More than ready but if your’e envisioning a feisty curly haired red head you are going to be greatly disappointed.”

” I know exactly what you look like from your profile picture. Don’t change a thing.” ‘You’re Annie?’ Sam (Tom Hanks) says at the top of the Empire State building in Sleepless in Seattle. I would love to be Sam Reed and you Annie Baldwin, a chance meeting at the top  would be romantic. Can you hear the song playing now? Jimmy Durante singing ‘As Time Goes By'”

I thought “How sweet” But I also remembered my last dancer Mr. Waltz and how I got caught up in all of his romantic rhetoric. I was cautious now.

The next long email came in from Mr. Foxtrot. That foxy guy chasing me into a world of romantic screen plays, with soundtracks to stir the emotions. This time he wrote, “Annie, you are ShopGirl(Kathleen Kelly) and I am NY152(Joe Fox), in “You’ve Got Mail” She prefers the laptop I prefer you. Imagine the two of us meeting at that garden of eden at the end of our journey, our electronic journey. When we “fall in love” again, it will be forever. I’m your Mr. Joe Foxtrot.

At this point I was getting a little apprehensive about this guy. I saw him as the fox and the chase was his thrill. All the silly dialogue clouded my sense of reality.He became that bachelor behind the proverbial screen and I was eyeing that this match game needed to end. Trot away Mr. Foxtrot. Trot away

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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Dancing In The Stars

Returning to my laptop, my secretary that guided me through my last adventures in looking for love after divorce for the past 8 years I felt it was time to reach into that cyberspace once again. All those stars out there, the many men and women looking to find that one that would make their lives bright; it was time to start dancing again.

“WINKS” as they are referred to on the online dating sites provide an initial introduction to a person letting them know they are interested in beginning a connection. I would like to refer to them as ‘BLINKS” because that is how fast it is to connect and then disconnect.

My very first “Wink” A man in his fifties. Tall, dark, and with a full head of hair, separated, no kids.

His profile reads: The calendar has again turned the page on another season. What do these pages hold in store for us? Shall we find out together? Yet another spring is slowly turning into summer. The spring plants are thirsty for the rains to renew their blossoms. Without the raid no plants will grow and no flowers will bloom. We also need something to refresh and renew our spirits. Are you thirsty for a relationship that will refresh your soul and renew that spirit?

Interesting, thoughtful and a touch of femininity. These words were lovely but I wanted a “man’s man” Someone who would pick me up off that dance floor with force and strength catapult me into a relationship that would equal the passion of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. I didn’t think he was the Burton type. With a BLINK I decided not to respond.

I found out that it was impossible to reply to all the would be suitors out in”cyberspace” I knew it was unkind and I am typically a nice person but it became exhausting. I could now understand how a literary agent felt; receiving countless queries from wannabe authors, in hopes their manuscripts- and in this case, profiles- would not be another heap of meaningless script tossed in the slush pile. I had to do some tossing…Moving On.

WINK #2 “Some kinda ecstasy gotta a hold on me”

WINK#3 “Heart has healed and ready to make friends”

WINK #4 “No job, no car, live with parents”

REALLY? BLINK …

WINK#5 A 65-year-old widowed man from Seattle

His profile read: Release the past. Live in today. Plan for tomorrow. Love starts with a smile. developed with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The romance is in the kiss…only kindred sprits should apply!

Good solid advice, I thought so I kept reading.

My closest friends describe me as funny, creative, and passionate about living. I’m just a nice gut who smiles a lot and loves life. I have had a charmed life. I met the girl I was born to love and we had a fairytale romance for 35 years. She passed away 8 years ago and now it is time for me to move on…she would have wanted it that way. I am ready to dance.

AH! NO BLINK HERE…A potential partner

TO BE CONTINUED

Ann Reichardt

relationship coach

contact:

annreichardt@aol.com

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

The new Age of techno-dating

Returning to this crazy new age of dating, I thought I would be an expert after all those years of muddling through that one dating site. The progression should be smooth and effortless, I thought to myself. I soon learned that the online dating scene had taken a grand leap. The popularity of dating in cyberspace the number of possible sites to choose from was staggering. There were sites to entice individuals based on color, religious affiliation, culture, hobbies and age. Narrowing down the playing field would make this much easier. I no longer had to sit at my computer desk. All that information was in the palm of my hand…my cell phone. I could have at the instant notifications of men who wanted to connect.

I soon discovered the numbers of lonely hearts out there came in all ages. I felt sorry for the young people today having to look for love in this noncommittal and detached way.The days of longing for a young suitor to carry you away, lifting you across that alter of love, romance and marriage were gone. These kinds of expectations are not in the cards for many career- driven college graduates. That drive for power and financial acumen, sacrificing having a family during those fertile years and then with regret finding out too late that her proverbial biological clock stopped.

I felt fortunate that I had already had my chance, my family, my history. There was no need to hurry things up for those reasons. My expectations were different.

That messages were coming in now…The men that perused the dating site and found my profile interesting. Off to begin my reading for the day…

Tomorrow: The WINKS

Ann Reichardt is a relationship guide for those who have challenges in finding love after loss. Having personal experience in looking for love after her long term marriage ended. The many lessons she learned along the way can help others experiencing similar challenges

For more information contact

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

THE NEW DANCE CARD

Two years had passed since my last attempt to be a couple with a man that promised love ever after. That was not to be. I was feeling the loss again. A different kind of grief but a sense of sadness nonetheless.

As the months being by myself passed, I was starting to feel lonely. I missed having someone in my life, even if it was temporary. I desired those moments again. Once again I perused the online dating sites. OMG, the number of online options had increased significantly since my last go round.

with excitement and enthusiasm, I approached the process as enlightening and fun this time. My laptop was open and eager to click away. Here I go again, I thought. I wondered who would be new on the scene. I was alone now- not lonely, but alone and I wanted to share my time with someone I could deeply care about.

My profile was reactivated and reflected with aging, there is a whole new set of rules about seeking companionship. I was now looking for security in knowing there would be someone there in time of need.”I have fallen and can’t get up!” That life alert button by itself may not be the safety net for one’s survival.

We humans are not designed to be alone. Yes, I sometimes protested that I was happy in my independence with the freedom to do as I pleased, but I always felt that desire to be a couple. It seemed to be a bigger need as I approached retirement. I was now applying for social security and medicare. Those fragile years of declining health. But is this reason enough to look for someone?

I believe now that I was looking for more than that. A friend of mine compared love and companionship. He quipped. “Love is meant to be more than having a safety net, that companion. A pet can provide that. A “Lover” will give you more. Remember that Annie.”

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annreichardt@aol.com

http://www.annreichardt.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Auditioning New Dancers

After revisiting a few of my previous dates I found that it is never the same the second time around.

As I settled into my life as a single senior I decided to sign up once again on an internet dating site. Who would be new to this game? Would I see some of the same guys that were there 8 years ago and would they recognize me and wonder why I hadn’t found love yet?

My profile needed to be rewritten. The words would have to be modified to to suit my desires now . My misconceptions and preconceived notions about dating again had changed I was smarter now. I would be more careful about who I selected but also more open to those that I wouldn’t have chosen the first time around.

“So I Think I Can Dance” It read:

Im back and eager to meet someone who has similar interests and perspective on life. I am interested in finding someone to spend quality time together through travel, conversation, athletic events, performing arts and the like while maintaining independence. I like interdependence,respect, love, and honoring all that each will bring to a relationship. Our respective families should always be included as they have formed our lives and the rich history that is important to me. I have always approached life as a wonderful learning process and I know people enter our lives for a reason to fill a present need. I would like to fill that void in someone’s life. I thought I could dance the first time on this floor of love and I did, but those final steps need perfecting with that one final dance partner. Are you him?

Done…all signed up My New Dance Card was ready for auditioning. Would my next dancer be a ballroom dance? Mambo, Foxtrot, Samba, Merengue perhaps? Or another form of creative movement such as Jazz, Ballet, Tap or lyrical? Back to the computer,and the clicking of that mouse begins…

 

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for interviews on relationships and dating contact

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

608 513 0521

 

Mr. Jitterbug… (cont.)

“Baby cakes, where are you?” My bluetooth buzzing Mr Jitterbug called anxiously awaiting my arrival. He continued in a phrenetic tone. “What kind of wine do you like? I’m going to the market. What’s your favorite cheese my Wisconsin girl? A bit of a dig regarding my Midwest accent.

Arriving at the restaurant in the heart of Milwaukee there was my jitterbug;sprinting to my car, disheveled  hair, baggy jeans and teeshirt with flip-flops. With a grand bowing posture he opened my door to greet me with a huge boyish grin. He was a “Hot Mess”

Taking my arm we entered the little bistro. He was in motion once again sprinting to the counter ordered for both of us. “Watcha think Annie? Are we a match?”

Cute but silly I thought for a 50 something man. He clearly was a little boy in a mans body.

“Give me some time to check on your table manners.” I replied

On to the art museum and then to a local bar for a few more refreshments; he a few brews, me a glass of wine. This felt more like being buddies at a post athletic event; shoot the shit, drink too much and make fools of ourselves. This would be considered the 3rd date for Mr. Jitterbug. He downed a few more beers and his energetic self became more subdued and less interested in me. I was his drinking buddy for the night and the idea of a 4th or 5th date diminished.

To continue with Mr. Jitterbugs date Ann’s book “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce is available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Apple i-tunes

annreichardt@aol.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com