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Finding common ground in your relationship creates the foundation for stable footing.
In love and in life we are challenged to the core. Our knee jerk instincts on issues and feelings are pushed around against our wills at times. I had a lot of knee jerks in the past 8 years. I had danced with many guys throughout my search for that perfect partner. I was stronger now and had learned a lot about dating and the importance of being selective in choosing the appropriate man for me.
Decision making in finding a promising relationship through online dating gives us all more romantic options than previous generations. In my ” senior years” I unraveled important clues before taking the plunge. Know who you are, independent of someone else. Do not idealize a relationship. Compromise is key. A persons internal values become more important than the superficial attributes.
I identified styles and personalities and shared familiar events or stages in life became important in determining success or failure in a successful relationship. Breaking down our walls of pain and apprehension, letting go of the wounds of the past help in moving forward in a positive way.
After reflecting on those past years I wiped away the tears and thought of my former husband again. It was clear that I’d always refer back to him. He used to be that guy that I could rely on and come to over those marital years.He couldn’t be there for me anymore and I respected that and his new life.
Continuing my search for love was a job at times but mostly a fun journey. One that helped me discover who I am and what I want in a relationship. I danced a lot with many dancers. I hoped that I too was an important part in helping them figure out who they were looking for as well. We were all learning, evolving. I still hadn’t found the right dancer but I was determined to continue this quest of finding that partner that would complete my dance of love and life.