My very first enlistment on my second “dance card’ is Mr. Foxtrot. He is slow and smooth, reminiscent of my most endearing dancer Mr. Waltz. It is often referred to as the Rolls Royce of the standard dances: beautiful, romantic conjuring up images of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire gliding with ease across the stage.
It had been several days since I first connected with him. but I knew waiting was part of the drill.. I was not disappointed, just realistic in knowing that delayed gratification was the pattern of online dating.
Then in came the message: Hello you must be Annie,the little orphaned girl looking for that perfect family to take you into their hearts. I would love to be your Daddy Warbucks.
I was now ready to release the past and move forward I need to formulate a clever pitch, a perfect introduction to this witty guy.
“It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I have kicked those hard days. I wanted to abandon those ragamuffin clothes for refined attire and move to the big city. That sun will certainly be coming out tomorrow-with you.”
“Annie, bet your bottom dollar. Tomorrow and the next day and the next You are fun! Are you ready for an adventure?”
“More than ready but if your’e envisioning a feisty curly haired red head you are going to be greatly disappointed.”
” I know exactly what you look like from your profile picture. Don’t change a thing.” ‘You’re Annie?’ Sam (Tom Hanks) says at the top of the Empire State building in Sleepless in Seattle. I would love to be Sam Reed and you Annie Baldwin, a chance meeting at the top would be romantic. Can you hear the song playing now? Jimmy Durante singing ‘As Time Goes By'”
I thought “How sweet” But I also remembered my last dancer Mr. Waltz and how I got caught up in all of his romantic rhetoric. I was cautious now.
The next long email came in from Mr. Foxtrot. That foxy guy chasing me into a world of romantic screen plays, with soundtracks to stir the emotions. This time he wrote, “Annie, you are ShopGirl(Kathleen Kelly) and I am NY152(Joe Fox), in “You’ve Got Mail” She prefers the laptop I prefer you. Imagine the two of us meeting at that garden of eden at the end of our journey, our electronic journey. When we “fall in love” again, it will be forever. I’m your Mr. Joe Foxtrot.
At this point I was getting a little apprehensive about this guy. I saw him as the fox and the chase was his thrill. All the silly dialogue clouded my sense of reality.He became that bachelor behind the proverbial screen and I was eyeing that this match game needed to end. Trot away Mr. Foxtrot. Trot away
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Two years had passed since my last attempt to be a couple with a man that promised love ever after. That was not to be. I was feeling the loss again. A different kind of grief but a sense of sadness nonetheless.
As the months being by myself passed, I was starting to feel lonely. I missed having someone in my life, even if it was temporary. I desired those moments again. Once again I perused the online dating sites. OMG, the number of online options had increased significantly since my last go round.
with excitement and enthusiasm, I approached the process as enlightening and fun this time. My laptop was open and eager to click away. Here I go again, I thought. I wondered who would be new on the scene. I was alone now- not lonely, but alone and I wanted to share my time with someone I could deeply care about.
My profile was reactivated and reflected with aging, there is a whole new set of rules about seeking companionship. I was now looking for security in knowing there would be someone there in time of need.”I have fallen and can’t get up!” That life alert button by itself may not be the safety net for one’s survival.
We humans are not designed to be alone. Yes, I sometimes protested that I was happy in my independence with the freedom to do as I pleased, but I always felt that desire to be a couple. It seemed to be a bigger need as I approached retirement. I was now applying for social security and medicare. Those fragile years of declining health. But is this reason enough to look for someone?
I believe now that I was looking for more than that. A friend of mine compared love and companionship. He quipped. “Love is meant to be more than having a safety net, that companion. A pet can provide that. A “Lover” will give you more. Remember that Annie.”
After revisiting a few of my previous dates I found that it is never the same the second time around.
As I settled into my life as a single senior I decided to sign up once again on an internet dating site. Who would be new to this game? Would I see some of the same guys that were there 8 years ago and would they recognize me and wonder why I hadn’t found love yet?
My profile needed to be rewritten. The words would have to be modified to to suit my desires now . My misconceptions and preconceived notions about dating again had changed I was smarter now. I would be more careful about who I selected but also more open to those that I wouldn’t have chosen the first time around.
“So I Think I Can Dance” It read:
Im back and eager to meet someone who has similar interests and perspective on life. I am interested in finding someone to spend quality time together through travel, conversation, athletic events, performing arts and the like while maintaining independence. I like interdependence,respect, love, and honoring all that each will bring to a relationship. Our respective families should always be included as they have formed our lives and the rich history that is important to me. I have always approached life as a wonderful learning process and I know people enter our lives for a reason to fill a present need. I would like to fill that void in someone’s life. I thought I could dance the first time on this floor of love and I did, but those final steps need perfecting with that one final dance partner. Are you him?
Done…all signed up My New Dance Card was ready for auditioning. Would my next dancer be a ballroom dance? Mambo, Foxtrot, Samba, Merengue perhaps? Or another form of creative movement such as Jazz, Ballet, Tap or lyrical? Back to the computer,and the clicking of that mouse begins…
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Welcome to The Nancy Ferrari Show where I share real, relevant and relatable conversations with my dynamic guests!
Finding Love In this episode, I introduce you to Ann Reichardt, RN, artist, performer, athlete, and author of her book “The Dance Card: Looking for Love After Divorce”.
As an author, she delves into the human psyche regarding relationships as a young girl and now as an older mature adult, re-entering that world of love and romance. The tales are all chronicled in her series of books of midlife self discovery after the dissolution of a 30 year marriage and how she had to begin again, discovering important clues in finding love and maintaining a relationship.
With point blank insight and sexual intrigue, she questions the notion of finding love after weaving through this new dance floor of love. “The Dance Card”, which is her expressive…
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