Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Advertisements

Mr. Foxtrot….Follow Your Heart…And Your Gut

My very first enlistment on my second “dance card’ is Mr. Foxtrot. He is slow  and smooth, reminiscent of my most endearing dancer Mr. Waltz. It is often referred to as the Rolls Royce of the standard dances: beautiful, romantic conjuring up images of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire gliding with ease across the stage.

It had been several days since I first connected with him. but I knew waiting was part of the drill.. I was not disappointed, just realistic in knowing that delayed gratification was the pattern of online dating.

Then in came the message: Hello you must be Annie,the little orphaned girl looking for that perfect family to take you into their hearts. I would love to be your Daddy Warbucks.

I was now ready to release the past and move forward I need to formulate a clever pitch, a perfect introduction to this witty guy.

“It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I have kicked those hard days. I wanted to abandon those ragamuffin clothes for refined attire and move to the big city. That sun will certainly be coming out tomorrow-with you.”

“Annie, bet your bottom dollar. Tomorrow and the next day and the next You are fun!  Are you ready for an adventure?”

“More than ready but if your’e envisioning a feisty curly haired red head you are going to be greatly disappointed.”

” I know exactly what you look like from your profile picture. Don’t change a thing.” ‘You’re Annie?’ Sam (Tom Hanks) says at the top of the Empire State building in Sleepless in Seattle. I would love to be Sam Reed and you Annie Baldwin, a chance meeting at the top  would be romantic. Can you hear the song playing now? Jimmy Durante singing ‘As Time Goes By'”

I thought “How sweet” But I also remembered my last dancer Mr. Waltz and how I got caught up in all of his romantic rhetoric. I was cautious now.

The next long email came in from Mr. Foxtrot. That foxy guy chasing me into a world of romantic screen plays, with soundtracks to stir the emotions. This time he wrote, “Annie, you are ShopGirl(Kathleen Kelly) and I am NY152(Joe Fox), in “You’ve Got Mail” She prefers the laptop I prefer you. Imagine the two of us meeting at that garden of eden at the end of our journey, our electronic journey. When we “fall in love” again, it will be forever. I’m your Mr. Joe Foxtrot.

At this point I was getting a little apprehensive about this guy. I saw him as the fox and the chase was his thrill. All the silly dialogue clouded my sense of reality.He became that bachelor behind the proverbial screen and I was eyeing that this match game needed to end. Trot away Mr. Foxtrot. Trot away

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

please repost and like

 

The Dating Game…The Waiting Game

The dating game, that competition for the many lovesick individuals challenged to reach that ultimate goal: love, companionship,friendship,, intimacy and possible marriage. This new effort would be exhausting. Would it be a 5K or a complete marathon requiring a great deal of endurance. How would I separate myself from the masses that had joined me?

That popular weekly half-hour show from the 1970’s was the precursor to all that followed in the dating world. Separated by a screen from 3 unknown bachelors or bachelorettes armed with a few titillating questions not particularly pertinent to each person. The men or women would finally be revealed from behind that curtain one by one. The rejected suitors would kiss the contestant and be on their way.  The chosen one would be the last to be revealed  and the reactions were always “priceless” Most often disappointed.

Not much has changed… we are still separated by a screen. Now we have the ability to eliminate without the commitment of connecting.

BLINK….

 

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

relationship expert

author of “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Dancing In The Stars

Returning to my laptop, my secretary that guided me through my last adventures in looking for love after divorce  for the past 8  years I felt it was time to reach into that cyberspace once again. All those stars out there,  the many men and women looking to find that one that would make their lives bright; it was time to start dancing again.

“WINKS”  as they are referred to on the online dating sites provide an initial introduction to a person letting them know they are interested in beginning a connection. I would like to refer to them as ‘BLINKS” because that is how fast it is to connect and then disconnect.

My very first “Wink” A man in his fifties. Tall, dark, and with a full head of hair, separated, no kids.

His profile reads: The calendar has again turned the page on another season. What do these pages hold in store for us? Shall we find out together? Yet another spring is slowly turning into summer. The spring plants are thirsty for the rains to renew their blossoms. Without the raid no plants will grow and no flowers will bloom. We also need something to refresh and renew our spirits. Are you thirsty for a relationship that will refresh your soul and renew that spirit?

Interesting, thoughtful and a touch of femininity. These words were lovely but I wanted a “man’s man” Someone who would pick me up off that dance floor with force and strength catapult me into a relationship that would equal the passion of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. I didn’t think he was the Burton type. With a BLINK I decided not to respond.

I found out that it was impossible to reply to all the would be suitors out in”cyberspace” I  knew it was unkind  and I am typically a nice person but it became exhausting. I could now understand how a literary agent felt; receiving countless queries from wannabe authors, in hopes their manuscripts- and in this case, profiles- would not be another heap of meaningless script tossed in the slush pile. I had to do some tossing…Moving On.

WINK #2 “Some kinda ecstasy gotta a hold on me”

WINK#3  “Heart has healed and ready to make friends”

WINK #4 “No job, no car, live with parents”

REALLY? BLINK …

WINK#5 A 65-year-old widowed man from Seattle

His profile read: Release the past. Live in today. Plan for tomorrow. Love starts with a smile. developed with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The romance is in the kiss…only kindred sprits should apply!

Good solid advice, I thought so I kept reading.

My closest friends describe me as funny, creative, and passionate about living. I’m just a nice gut who smiles a lot and loves life. I have had a charmed life. I met the girl I was born to love and we had a fairytale romance for 35 years. She passed away 8 years ago and now it is time for me to move on…she would have wanted it that way. I am ready to dance.

AH! NO BLINK HERE…A potential partner

TO BE CONTINUED

 

Ann Reichardt

relationship coach

contact:

annreichardt@aol.com

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

 

THE NEW DANCE CARD

Two years had passed since my last attempt to be a couple with a man that promised love ever after. That was not to be. I was feeling the loss again. A different kind of grief but a sense of sadness nonetheless.

As the months being by myself passed, I was starting to feel lonely. I missed having someone in my life, even if it was temporary. I desired those moments again. Once again I perused the online dating sites. OMG, the number of online options had increased significantly since my last go round.

with excitement and enthusiasm, I approached the process as enlightening and fun this time. My laptop was open and eager to click away. Here I go again, I thought. I wondered who would be new on the scene. I was alone now- not lonely, but alone and I wanted to share my time with someone I could deeply care about.

My profile was reactivated and reflected with aging, there is a whole new set of rules about seeking companionship. I was now looking for security in knowing there would be someone there in time of need.”I have fallen and can’t get up!” That life alert button by itself may not be the safety net for one’s survival.

We humans are not designed to be alone. Yes, I sometimes protested that I was happy in my independence with the freedom to do as I pleased, but I always felt that desire to be a couple. It seemed to be a bigger need as I approached retirement. I was now applying for social security and medicare. Those fragile years of declining health. But is this reason enough to look for someone?

I believe now that I was looking for more than that. A friend of mine compared love and companionship. He quipped. “Love is meant to be more than having a safety net, that companion. A pet can provide that. A “Lover” will give you more. Remember that Annie.”

Please repost

annreichardt@aol.com

http://www.annreichardt.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Auditioning New Dancers

After revisiting a few of my previous dates I found that it is never the same the second time around.

As I settled into my life as a single senior I decided to sign up once again on an internet dating site. Who would be new to this game? Would I see some of the same guys that were there 8 years ago and would they recognize me and wonder why I hadn’t found love yet?

My profile needed to be rewritten. The words would have to be modified to to suit my desires now . My misconceptions and preconceived notions about dating again had changed I was smarter now. I would be more careful about who I selected but also more open to those that I wouldn’t have chosen the first time around.

“So I Think I Can Dance” It read:

Im back and eager to meet someone who has similar interests and perspective on life. I am interested in finding someone to spend quality time together through travel, conversation, athletic events, performing arts and the like while maintaining independence. I like interdependence,respect, love, and honoring all that each will bring to a relationship. Our respective families should always be included as they have formed our lives and the rich history that is important to me. I have always approached life as a wonderful learning process and I know people enter our lives for a reason to fill a present need. I would like to fill that void in someone’s life. I thought I could dance the first time on this floor of love and I did, but those final steps need perfecting with that one final dance partner. Are you him?

Done…all signed up My New Dance Card was ready for auditioning. Would my next dancer be a ballroom dance? Mambo, Foxtrot, Samba, Merengue perhaps? Or another form of creative movement such as Jazz, Ballet, Tap or lyrical? Back to the computer,and the clicking of that mouse begins…

 

Please repost

for interviews on relationships and dating contact

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

608 513 0521