Shoes and Relationships…The Right Fit

The next audition for my New Dance Card:  A 52 year old Aerospace engineer, recently divorced with 2 kids. I was seeing a pattern: the age and stage of life seems to be a turning point. Is it the desire for something new? Or could it be the desire for two individuals who had lost connection along the way, or was it a mutual conclusion that they were not the “right fit” from the start? I thought it was the latter.

If we approached relationships as if we were shopping for a good pair of shoes, maybe we would all be more successful. The size, the fit, the look, the ease of slipping into every day and most importantly the ability to withstand the elements over years of wear- all crucial elements in the formula for comfort, sustainability, love and compatibility.

His profile read: I’m retired, married too young to my high school sweetheart for 29 years. Recently divorced. Was amicable. I do volunteering for the Humane Society, I clean cages, the the animals as fosters…sponsor at least 12 at a no kill shelter. It breaks my heart seeing all these abandoned animals. I better move on as I’m starting to tear up as I write this.

Iv’e done little dating as I seem to attract younger women and have no interest in someone half my age. The world of dating is scary even for a guy. Yes women are just as deceitful as men tend to be. I hate the fact that some date as if it were a sport. I’m not looking for friends with benefits or bed “buddies.”

While I commended this man for remaining friends with his ex, and his endearing profile and love for animals, I wasn’t quite sure we would be a fit. I know that after a long term marriage ends we hold on to old feelings for awhile and he was just divorced. I remember where my heart was after only a few short months of being solo. I need to try on a few more shoes!

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Next Profiles of Discourage

Back to my secretary, my mac book air, the only friend I had over the years in assisting in finding a man. Someone who would fit in my new life. Ah so man profiles to peruse. It was getting to be a job. Why are there so many of us out there? Single and alone. I moved on to the next profile.

It read: ” Former Geek continuing transformation. Now sensitive, eclectic, and brainy is good- who knew? I’m charming,funny, witty and polite. Really! Mom said so! Actually so do my friends and coworkers(all partnered, no help there). Don’t live with my parents or friends. Sorry not a fan of coffee. ( I know that’s a big one) I have never been arrested or spent time in jail. I don’t sew or crochet. The first thing I notice is a woman’s hands. Yes seriously. I will add other things as we go through the journey.

No I don’t have a motorcycle and no plans to ever get one. I don’t have any tattoos or piercings. Yes I wear glasses, not contacts(the geek in me), I have all my limbs and no dentures( yes I was once asked that). Have never done drugs. Yes, I have a job and get paid.”

I thought silly profile but kinda cute. His message sure got my attention and made me smile I wondered if he really was geeky. Was he highly intellectual. By joining  any dating site there is a sense of non commitment and safety in just the written word. Could he handle the challenge of meeting someone face-to-face? I decided to play that “waiting game” with him. That time between reading and responding: hitting that reply button. You never know who will be interested.

 

For the continuing story on this date … be sure to pick up Ann’s soon to be released “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. It is a followup of her book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce now available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Kindle and I-Tunes

 

For more information on Ann follow her website at http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Mr. Jazz ( analytical dancer)

Exhausted after my ordeal with Mr. Hustle, I became disheartened and disappointed in not finding someone who was real, normal, trustworthy and compatible. Was it at all possible? I remained optimistic and returned to the digital  mindset of todays world. Opening up my Mac laptop I would begin my search again.

The next profile made me smile;

“Life can be easy, especially when you are in a little black dress.” He was 50 years old, divorced, two children.

I continued to read because I LOVED my little black dresses.

“Love my ex-wife. Don’t regret any of it. Okay here is the meat and potatoes of my profile:

What I’m really looking for is a drama queen, someone who needs constant attention, complains I never leave them alone. Someone who is never satisfied with life. Someone who looks terrible in a little black dress and just as bad in t-shirt and jeans. You must hate to go out for a night on the town and really hate staying at home snuggling on the couch. Oh and yes, kids and family are not important to you at all. Must have loads and loads of baggage. I will allow three checked bags and two carry-ons. Sound good? Send me an email. Scratch that whole looking bad in a little black dress thing. I’m a guy and really like the way a woman wears a little black dress, or whatever color dress… or nothing at all. Are we clear on that?”

Yup, I was totally clear on that and up for the challenges. I winked, Not Blinked and sent a quick message.

To follow Mr. Jazz be sure to look for my new book “The New Dance Card” soon to be released. Its a follow up to my book ‘The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce available on Amazon.com Barnes& Noble, Apple I tunes and kindle.

please follow and repost

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

available for interviews

Mr. Hustle (cont.)

Her name was Sylvia, she was from Argentina. An international Bridge player who connected with Walum (will always love you more) She tried to warn me about this guy, he was not truthful about anything in his life,  particularly about his wife being dead.

I hadn’t assigned him a dance name in the beginning but I soon found out that Hustle was appropriate. Apparently he wooed women with his deceptive stories, all for sexual encounters. I would be leery of this player but I wanted to continue to follow him to see if  my Argentinian friend was right.

Sylvia and I chatted frequently about her plight… He had promised her a lifetime of love and happiness. She traveled to see him in the States and connected intimately. She was “IN LOVE” This lie became evident on her return to her homeland. He didn’t call her, he connected with other women through the Bridge site casting his spells on them, much like Sylvia. Poor lonely hearts.

Sylvia would now try to let all the other unsuspecting women of this guys game. And she did. Messaging all the ladies he frequently played Bridge with, Mr. Hustle’s wife was alive and he did not have children nor was he employed. He was questionable for an STD or God forbid another life threatening sexually transmitted disease.

Thank you Sylvia… You are fearless.

To read more about Mr. Hustle  in my soon to be released book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

relationship guide and expert

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Mr. Foxtrot….Follow Your Heart…And Your Gut

My very first enlistment on my second “dance card’ is Mr. Foxtrot. He is slow  and smooth, reminiscent of my most endearing dancer Mr. Waltz. It is often referred to as the Rolls Royce of the standard dances: beautiful, romantic conjuring up images of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire gliding with ease across the stage.

It had been several days since I first connected with him. but I knew waiting was part of the drill.. I was not disappointed, just realistic in knowing that delayed gratification was the pattern of online dating.

Then in came the message: Hello you must be Annie,the little orphaned girl looking for that perfect family to take you into their hearts. I would love to be your Daddy Warbucks.

I was now ready to release the past and move forward I need to formulate a clever pitch, a perfect introduction to this witty guy.

“It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I have kicked those hard days. I wanted to abandon those ragamuffin clothes for refined attire and move to the big city. That sun will certainly be coming out tomorrow-with you.”

“Annie, bet your bottom dollar. Tomorrow and the next day and the next You are fun!  Are you ready for an adventure?”

“More than ready but if your’e envisioning a feisty curly haired red head you are going to be greatly disappointed.”

” I know exactly what you look like from your profile picture. Don’t change a thing.” ‘You’re Annie?’ Sam (Tom Hanks) says at the top of the Empire State building in Sleepless in Seattle. I would love to be Sam Reed and you Annie Baldwin, a chance meeting at the top  would be romantic. Can you hear the song playing now? Jimmy Durante singing ‘As Time Goes By'”

I thought “How sweet” But I also remembered my last dancer Mr. Waltz and how I got caught up in all of his romantic rhetoric. I was cautious now.

The next long email came in from Mr. Foxtrot. That foxy guy chasing me into a world of romantic screen plays, with soundtracks to stir the emotions. This time he wrote, “Annie, you are ShopGirl(Kathleen Kelly) and I am NY152(Joe Fox), in “You’ve Got Mail” She prefers the laptop I prefer you. Imagine the two of us meeting at that garden of eden at the end of our journey, our electronic journey. When we “fall in love” again, it will be forever. I’m your Mr. Joe Foxtrot.

At this point I was getting a little apprehensive about this guy. I saw him as the fox and the chase was his thrill. All the silly dialogue clouded my sense of reality.He became that bachelor behind the proverbial screen and I was eyeing that this match game needed to end. Trot away Mr. Foxtrot. Trot away

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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The Dating Game…The Waiting Game

The dating game, that competition for the many lovesick individuals challenged to reach that ultimate goal: love, companionship,friendship,, intimacy and possible marriage. This new effort would be exhausting. Would it be a 5K or a complete marathon requiring a great deal of endurance. How would I separate myself from the masses that had joined me?

That popular weekly half-hour show from the 1970’s was the precursor to all that followed in the dating world. Separated by a screen from 3 unknown bachelors or bachelorettes armed with a few titillating questions not particularly pertinent to each person. The men or women would finally be revealed from behind that curtain one by one. The rejected suitors would kiss the contestant and be on their way.  The chosen one would be the last to be revealed  and the reactions were always “priceless” Most often disappointed.

Not much has changed… we are still separated by a screen. Now we have the ability to eliminate without the commitment of connecting.

BLINK….

 

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

relationship expert

author of “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

The new Age of techno-dating

Returning to this crazy new age of dating, I thought I would be an expert after all those years of muddling through that one dating site. The progression should be smooth and effortless, I thought to myself. I soon learned that the online dating scene had taken a grand leap. The popularity of dating in cyberspace the number of possible sites to choose from was staggering. There were sites to entice individuals based on color, religious affiliation, culture, hobbies and age. Narrowing down the playing field would make this much easier. I no longer had to sit at my computer desk. All that information was in the palm of my hand…my cell phone. I could have at the instant notifications of men who wanted to connect.

I soon discovered the numbers of lonely hearts out there came in all ages. I felt sorry for the young people today having to look for love in this noncommittal and detached way.The days of longing for a young suitor to carry you away, lifting you across that alter of love, romance and marriage were gone. These kinds of expectations are not in the cards for many career- driven college graduates. That drive for power and financial acumen, sacrificing having a family during those fertile years and then with regret finding out too late that her proverbial biological clock stopped.

I felt fortunate that I had already had my chance, my family, my history. There was no need to hurry things up for those reasons. My expectations were different.

That messages were coming in now…The men that perused the dating site and found my profile interesting. Off to begin my reading for the day…

Tomorrow: The WINKS

Ann Reichardt is a relationship guide for those who have challenges in finding love after loss. Having personal experience in looking for love after her long term marriage ended. The many lessons she learned along the way can help others experiencing similar challenges

For more information contact

Ann Reichardt

annreichardt@aol.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com