Mr Moonwalk (Delusional dancer)

It was now spring 2014 and I was looking forward to some warm days to lift my spirits after so many gloomy days of continual disappointment in my dating adventures. I m going to rename The New Dance Card … Profiles of Discourage.

Maybe a change of pace to somewhere warm, a little tennis in that sunshine state. Perhaps meet a handsome tennis pro. Serve and volley all day and surf the net at night?

Off to Florida I went. The next entry onto my list referred to himself as “The Pied Piper of The Sea” He was tall, handsome, fit, with golden locks. Never married, no children.Worked on wall street as a successful day trader but lost it all during the financial meltdown. He traded the hustle and bustle of New York to relocate to the golden sands of Siesta Key, now combing those pristine sands in search of a treasure. Gold perhaps or a rich snow bird.

He was a bronzed god in royal blue swim trunks, faded visor and beach chair in hand looking to reinvest in some older broad who is vulnerable to his charming advances. His new pot of Gold.

I tagged him as Mr. Moonwalk because its a dance that gives the illusion of moving forward when actually the moves are backwards. His were just that for every step he took towards me. We had an interesting interchange during my visit. He confided that he had football injuries and was nursing a wounded foot. It oozed infection. I became the nurse at this point imparting medical advice. He didn’t listen. He feared losing his foot or even the entire leg. He had daily massages to keep his lymph system flowing. He invited me to see his massage table. Oh my dear God!

Would I be that NURSE or that PURSE?

To find out what Ann does with Mr. Moonwalk check out her New book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online soon to be released and available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Apple iTunes

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Mr. Lap Dance (sexual dancer)

Number 8 on my new dance card would be Mr. Lap dance. He was a mover and a shaker, hauling cargo around this vast country in a big rig that was his home on the road.

His profile read;

Im not into playing games I want something more than to meet my match online and get off this dating site.

Some important questions:

Are you emotionally stable? (yes or no)

Which of these do you have?

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

OCD

ADHD, ADD

Codependency

anorexia, bulimia

None of the above?

He was always on the road so our conversations were usually at night. After a month or so of communicating we decided to meet. It would be a mutually agreed upon location but it meant a long drive. I always seemed to be the one to drive to destinations and I was wondering why? Was I that desperate?  I remember a similar situation I had with Mr. Hustle and how disastrous that turned out. I need to inform my sister Susie of my plans…she would be my safety net.

That one  time meeting would leave me filled with doubt about the intentions of some.

To find out what happened with Mr. LAP DANCE Ann chronicles her dates in her soon to be released 2nd book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online. A series of 3 books in her long arduous journey looking for love again in midlife.

Please visit her website http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

and get her first book”The Dance Card” Looking For love After Divorce

available on Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Kindle, Apple itunes

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Mr. Quick Step (quirky dancer)

With Mr Ballet gone.. I felt like just another swan along with others through his migration of flights of fancy.

Opening up my life to another man once again became a job. I wish I had been paid for all of this work. Maybe I should open up a counseling business on looking for love again. Maybe give speeches  expounding on changes in society regarding relationships, write advice columns…the modern day Ann Landers. Brilliant! I thought.

Ok, back to work to collect more empirical data. My laptop had been idle for awhile and I looked over the myriad of new members, immersing myself in their clever and yet some corny profiles .

“Married but Lonely”

“Love Spell”

Safe at home plate”

“No grandiosity”

‘Shadow master”

” Happy dancer”

“Laughs and Kisses”

“Officer and a gentleman”

It was interesting how I was drawn to certain headlines. I couldn’t read all the profiles so I chose “Happy Dancer” to start with.

It read: If you’re a quick-stepping, quick witted, and quick to laugh, adventurous lady, we will have fun together.

Im tall, blonde, divorced, 63 years old. The top ten reasons to consider me:

1.) I have all my hair, yes on my head.

2.) I squeeze toothpaste from the bottom.

3.) I drape toilet paper over the top.

4.) I can drive a stick.

5.) Read a map.

6.) Talk on my cell.

7.) Eat fast food. and

8.) find that 2 year old french fry under the drivers seat, all simultaneously.

9.) I like chick flicks.

10.) I will wash off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

 

Ok sounds like a fun guy. We have to meet and we did.

To find out  more on Mr. Quickstep Ann’s soon to be released “THE NEW DANCE CARD LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE will be available on Amazon. com, Barnes and Noble, Apple iTunes, Kindle ebooks

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Mr. Pasa Doble (Dance of Arrogance)

My last kiss was from an unlikely source, my friend Jeff, Beth’s husband.

I was sad to know that they were probably going to split up. Their days would be filled with heartache and loneliness much like the rest of us in midlife feel after the end of a long term marriage. That familiarity and history and memories that were built over their lifetime would disappear. Disposed of much like everything else these days, in this throw-away society. Nothing seems to be cherished anymore.

As we are forced in to challenging situations we must decide whether to allow those times to define us or start to move forward in a positive way and redefine who we are as significant individuals . So I trudged forward…happily.

I was ready for my next auditioned into my studio of love. This time I would more carefully examine each guy in hope that the right match would be a triple threat; could he make my heart sing?…be  compatible?… professional?…be good in bed?…or in the shower.?

There it was: a profile read, “High-flying professional looking for “the one.” “I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m an honest, romantic, intelligent, adventurous professional gent; a doctor who seeks a woman to fulfill my Sleepless in Seattle Syndrome.”

He went on and on about his many accolades personally and professionally. skippering yachts, piloting his own plane,scuba diving,  entertaining, and cooking.He had tremendous wealth and was searching for that gal that presents attractiveness and interests that are appealing to him. He desired  an intelligent, energetic and passionate woman.

Question:” If you found the love that would move the sun and the stars would you relocate? If your’e a classy gal that wants a classy guy please consider allowing me to contact you.”

NICE ! was my initial response to his profile. He seemed to be a good match…almost too good to be true. My hesitation in replying centered around the distance between us geographically. I’ve learned with past relationships it is difficult to maintain any continuous connection with distance. I was also apprehensive because I had been scammed  before and when something sounds too ideal it usually is. Mostly I feared that this self assured man may have unrealistic expectations from his partner. Would I disappoint by not being perfect. I was getting older and the pressure to live up to those ideals was intimidating. Frankly I was tired and with frailties setting in I didn’t need the pressure. I did not respond.

But he was relentless. He sent notification after notification to me wanting to connect. I bet he never had anyone NOT respond to his requests online. All those women eager to be the wife of a doctor. 

To find out more about Mr. Pas Doble be sure to look for my new book (soon to be released) THE NEW DANCE CARD  Looking For Love Online. The second book in my 3 book series of looking for love after the end of a marriage in midlife. THE DANCE CARD looking for love after divorce is now available on Amazon. com Barnes & Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle

 

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

THAT KISS…

Closing the door on my long time friend after our hours long therapy session I became a bit nervous”Oh Boy” Was he so starved for affection that he was looking at me as his subject for those desirable romantic moments he was so longing for?

YIKES!  I better not go there. Cannot happen, never will. But he looked so deep into my eyes at that moment.- now what was I going to do? Off to bed I went consumed with those crazy thoughts.

That next morning I was exhausted from that night of being therapist to my friend Jeff. Then I thought, Shit what kind of therapy? marriage advice or sex therapy?  Would or should he be on my “Dance Card.” I knew he would reenter my life in hopes of finding love–maybe not with me, but then again who better to teach than the holder of the dance card.

Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Jeff. I wondered where he was in his marriage? He did not enlist my assistance after that day, I didn’t ask why. The last I heard was that he had read my first book that I wrote after the failure of my marriage. The stories describe my exhausting journey  jumping into the pool of online dating, looking for suitors to be potential long term loves in my life. Maybe he decided to stay.

His last words to me that night were,” I’d be happy with those few defining intimate moments with someone who’d make me smile. That is all I need. I can live with the rest, sad as it may be.”

I wondered if he found someone to share those pleasurable moments? I was happy it was not me?   MAYBE.

 

To find out what happened to Jeff be sure to look for my soon to be released book The New Dance Card, Looking For Love Online. It is a second in a 3 book series of searching for that right partner in life. The first book”The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce chronicles Ann’s beginning adventures in dating again after the end of her marriage. Aavailable on Amazon. com, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, Apple  i-tunes.

Ann Reichardt is a long time resident of Wisconsin and now lives in Scottsdale Arizona. She is a retired registered nurse and educator of the arts. Her oil paintings have been in several showings in New York City. She has illustrated  children’s books and is working on more. Her passion for the arts, theatre, singing performing has played a big role in her life. She has two daughters and a wonderful extended family that have supported her on this journey.

 

Contact: Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

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Dance of a Wounded Friend

It was late and I decided to close up my screen of romantic desires and rest my weary eyes and not-so nimble fingers. Time to catch up on all those things I set aside: dishes, laundry the typical daily routines that needed attention.

Those chores were interrupted. A frantic phone call; much like the call I received a few years earlier from my girlfriend Beth. At that time she was in crisis mode, her husband was leaving her for another woman and wanted my help. They resolved that temporary glitch in their disrupted family life and they survived. That was 6 years ago. I was happy about that.

Today it would be her husband of 40 years, Jeff. He wanted “out” again and here was  good ole Annie to the rescue. I answered: He wanted to talk…

Opening this door of conversation was like opening the wounds from my past. I once again had to relive those exhausting grief filled moments of the loss I felt when my husband took off.

With apprehension I invited him over to talk. I knew all too well that I would have to choose between 2 friends that meant so much to me. How could I become allies with one and not the other? It felt as though I was playing with fire and I didn’t have an extinguisher to douse the flames.

He arrived, gave me a big hug and began to weep: “I don’t know how long I can stay in a loveless marriage? he cried in desperation “I feel as though I’m in limbo, a constant death, no resolution or finality to our problems. Help Annie, what am I in for?”

I was presently at peace with where I was in my life and I wasn’t about to tell Jeff to leave his wife; that was not for me to decide. I could only listen to his concerns and offer a sympathetic ear and impart some of my own personal experiences.

After an emotionally tiring 3 hours Jeff thanked me and said: ” All I want is to feel alive again. Just to have a few loving, romantic moments with someone who can return those feelings. You are a good friend Annie.” He pulled me close to his body, embraced me and attempted a kiss. Not “just a kiss” But a KISS….

To find out what happens be sure to look for my  soon to be released book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online”

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Thank you,

Ann Reichardt

anniereichardt@gmail.com

http://www.loveonthedancefloor.com

Ann’s first book “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce is available at Amazon. com, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, kindle. This is where it all began!! Romantic, tittilating humorous tales of looking for love.