The Dating Game…The Waiting Game

The dating game, that competition for the many lovesick individuals challenged to reach that ultimate goal: love, companionship,friendship,, intimacy and possible marriage. This new effort would be exhausting. Would it be a 5K or a complete marathon requiring a great deal of endurance. How would I separate myself from the masses that had joined me?

That popular weekly half-hour show from the 1970’s was the precursor to all that followed in the dating world. Separated by a screen from 3 unknown bachelors or bachelorettes armed with a few titillating questions not particularly pertinent to each person. The men or women would finally be revealed from behind that curtain one by one. The rejected suitors would kiss the contestant and be on their way.  The chosen one would be the last to be revealed  and the reactions were always “priceless” Most often disappointed.

Not much has changed… we are still separated by a screen. Now we have the ability to eliminate without the commitment of connecting.




Ann Reichardt

relationship expert

author of “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce

Dancing In The Stars

Returning to my laptop, my secretary that guided me through my last adventures in looking for love after divorce for the past 8 years I felt it was time to reach into that cyberspace once again. All those stars out there, the many men and women looking to find that one that would make their lives bright; it was time to start dancing again.

“WINKS” as they are referred to on the online dating sites provide an initial introduction to a person letting them know they are interested in beginning a connection. I would like to refer to them as ‘BLINKS” because that is how fast it is to connect and then disconnect.

My very first “Wink” A man in his fifties. Tall, dark, and with a full head of hair, separated, no kids.

His profile reads: The calendar has again turned the page on another season. What do these pages hold in store for us? Shall we find out together? Yet another spring is slowly turning into summer. The spring plants are thirsty for the rains to renew their blossoms. Without the raid no plants will grow and no flowers will bloom. We also need something to refresh and renew our spirits. Are you thirsty for a relationship that will refresh your soul and renew that spirit?

Interesting, thoughtful and a touch of femininity. These words were lovely but I wanted a “man’s man” Someone who would pick me up off that dance floor with force and strength catapult me into a relationship that would equal the passion of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. I didn’t think he was the Burton type. With a BLINK I decided not to respond.

I found out that it was impossible to reply to all the would be suitors out in”cyberspace” I knew it was unkind and I am typically a nice person but it became exhausting. I could now understand how a literary agent felt; receiving countless queries from wannabe authors, in hopes their manuscripts- and in this case, profiles- would not be another heap of meaningless script tossed in the slush pile. I had to do some tossing…Moving On.

WINK #2 “Some kinda ecstasy gotta a hold on me”

WINK#3 “Heart has healed and ready to make friends”

WINK #4 “No job, no car, live with parents”


WINK#5 A 65-year-old widowed man from Seattle

His profile read: Release the past. Live in today. Plan for tomorrow. Love starts with a smile. developed with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The romance is in the kiss…only kindred sprits should apply!

Good solid advice, I thought so I kept reading.

My closest friends describe me as funny, creative, and passionate about living. I’m just a nice gut who smiles a lot and loves life. I have had a charmed life. I met the girl I was born to love and we had a fairytale romance for 35 years. She passed away 8 years ago and now it is time for me to move on…she would have wanted it that way. I am ready to dance.

AH! NO BLINK HERE…A potential partner


Ann Reichardt

relationship coach



Two years had passed since my last attempt to be a couple with a man that promised love ever after. That was not to be. I was feeling the loss again. A different kind of grief but a sense of sadness nonetheless.

As the months being by myself passed, I was starting to feel lonely. I missed having someone in my life, even if it was temporary. I desired those moments again. Once again I perused the online dating sites. OMG, the number of online options had increased significantly since my last go round.

with excitement and enthusiasm, I approached the process as enlightening and fun this time. My laptop was open and eager to click away. Here I go again, I thought. I wondered who would be new on the scene. I was alone now- not lonely, but alone and I wanted to share my time with someone I could deeply care about.

My profile was reactivated and reflected with aging, there is a whole new set of rules about seeking companionship. I was now looking for security in knowing there would be someone there in time of need.”I have fallen and can’t get up!” That life alert button by itself may not be the safety net for one’s survival.

We humans are not designed to be alone. Yes, I sometimes protested that I was happy in my independence with the freedom to do as I pleased, but I always felt that desire to be a couple. It seemed to be a bigger need as I approached retirement. I was now applying for social security and medicare. Those fragile years of declining health. But is this reason enough to look for someone?

I believe now that I was looking for more than that. A friend of mine compared love and companionship. He quipped. “Love is meant to be more than having a safety net, that companion. A pet can provide that. A “Lover” will give you more. Remember that Annie.”

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Auditioning New Dancers

After revisiting a few of my previous dates I found that it is never the same the second time around.

As I settled into my life as a single senior I decided to sign up once again on an internet dating site. Who would be new to this game? Would I see some of the same guys that were there 8 years ago and would they recognize me and wonder why I hadn’t found love yet?

My profile needed to be rewritten. The words would have to be modified to to suit my desires now . My misconceptions and preconceived notions about dating again had changed I was smarter now. I would be more careful about who I selected but also more open to those that I wouldn’t have chosen the first time around.

“So I Think I Can Dance” It read:

Im back and eager to meet someone who has similar interests and perspective on life. I am interested in finding someone to spend quality time together through travel, conversation, athletic events, performing arts and the like while maintaining independence. I like interdependence,respect, love, and honoring all that each will bring to a relationship. Our respective families should always be included as they have formed our lives and the rich history that is important to me. I have always approached life as a wonderful learning process and I know people enter our lives for a reason to fill a present need. I would like to fill that void in someone’s life. I thought I could dance the first time on this floor of love and I did, but those final steps need perfecting with that one final dance partner. Are you him?

Done…all signed up My New Dance Card was ready for auditioning. Would my next dancer be a ballroom dance? Mambo, Foxtrot, Samba, Merengue perhaps? Or another form of creative movement such as Jazz, Ballet, Tap or lyrical? Back to the computer,and the clicking of that mouse begins…


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Ann Reichardt

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Mr. Waltz The Dance Of Romance

After the whirlwind of emotions settled from my dance with Mr. Jitterbug I was eager to find that last dancer to fill my Dance Card of Love in hopes that it may be my final and most long lasting partner.

It all started with that darn ” wink” and a comment. ” A vision of beauty and grace.”

Ooh nice I thought. The flattery did not go unnoticed. But he was only 44 years old! I would be a senior woman to him. Why on earth did his profile pop up? His listed ideal age range was 35 to 45. He was new to the area.TALL, HANDSOME, and intriguing, one young daughter.

Clearly I did not fit within his parameters of who he was looking for . Why then did he want to connect? Being that nurturer I felt compelled to assist him in becoming acquainted with the area.

And So our dance began… The Waltz;the romantic of all ballroom dances, slow and deliberate as each step is enunciated with emotion and drama.



To see how Ann’s dance with Mr. Waltz progress read her memoir “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce available on Amazon. com, Barnes &Noble, Apple i-tunes, kindle and nook

The 8 years of looking for love online is chronicled with humor, romance drama and cautionary tales


Mr. Jitterbug… (cont.)

“Baby cakes, where are you?” My bluetooth buzzing Mr Jitterbug called anxiously awaiting my arrival. He continued in a phrenetic tone. “What kind of wine do you like? I’m going to the market. What’s your favorite cheese my Wisconsin girl? A bit of a dig regarding my Midwest accent.

Arriving at the restaurant in the heart of Milwaukee there was my jitterbug;sprinting to my car, disheveled  hair, baggy jeans and teeshirt with flip-flops. With a grand bowing posture he opened my door to greet me with a huge boyish grin. He was a “Hot Mess”

Taking my arm we entered the little bistro. He was in motion once again sprinting to the counter ordered for both of us. “Watcha think Annie? Are we a match?”

Cute but silly I thought for a 50 something man. He clearly was a little boy in a mans body.

“Give me some time to check on your table manners.” I replied

On to the art museum and then to a local bar for a few more refreshments; he a few brews, me a glass of wine. This felt more like being buddies at a post athletic event; shoot the shit, drink too much and make fools of ourselves. This would be considered the 3rd date for Mr. Jitterbug. He downed a few more beers and his energetic self became more subdued and less interested in me. I was his drinking buddy for the night and the idea of a 4th or 5th date diminished.

To continue with Mr. Jitterbugs date Ann’s book “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce is available on, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Apple i-tunes


Mr. Jitterbug… Dance of Anxiety

“Life is all about attitude. People would describe me as funny, passionate and energetic. I strongly feel there are four”C’s” in a relationship:Communication, commitment, chemistry and compromise.” He would be the next dance on my card …

The jitterbug is a high energy, lively, uninhibited form of swing dance; a dance without control, full of improvisation, cutting loose and out of control.

The technical difficulties to master this kind of dancer would take time, patience and regular practice. That is what we did.Our first conversation was tense and it set the tone for future conversations.

A voice message came through: “Annie, just giving you a jingle. You know this would never work. The distance is a factor, even if we were perfect for each other, fell in love, wanted to get married, we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment.”

I replied.”So if you have already negated the potential for any kind of relationship why begin communicating?”

Despite the apprehension we did continue communicating. Most of our dialogue centered around sports, golf, tennis etc. We then decided it was time to meet.

Mr. Jitterbug announced” Hey you know we have to go on five dates before we can really get to know one another?”

“Elaborate please.”I queried.

“Let’s begin with our first date and we can discuss. Come visit me I will plan everything, dinner, drinks, a walk through the museum, perhaps after dinner drinks, a bonfire at my home, dancing under the light of the moon. Now will we be on to the fifth date?”

Too funny! I was up for the adventure and besides he was so damn cute! He did say he was a kid at heart; a peter pan wanna be”Never wanting to grow up. Maybe I would be his Wendy for the day and he would take me to Neverland.

To read more about this energetic and exciting dancer/ “The Dance Card” Looking For Love After Divorce available on, Barnes& Noble, Kindle, I-tunes, nook

Ann’s incredible journey chronicles her dating in midlife after the end of a long term marriage.Her dance card has 10 guys she attempts to connect with for a long term relationship. Each date/ dancer provides her with insight into what and who will be the right fit for her in third of her life.

Her second book “The New Dance Card” Looking For Love Online will be released this Jan/ Feb 2017 She continues her search  with 10 new dancers and revisits the first 10 guys that were on her first dance card. Where are they now after 8 years?

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Ann Reichardt