DAY THREE: The Invisible 30 Years

The disruption of the normal days rushed in like the torrential rain in spring. This upheaval in our lives would take its toll physically, emotionally as well as psychologically.

Our 30 years of history, memories, life’s important experiences tossed aside for the scavengers to devour and then spit out.

Nothing was sacred; disposing of all that was once cherished. Put to the curb for the collection along with the other wastes.

I was now part of that compost pile degrading slowly, ever so slowly.

The flood of tears were my messengers of the sadness to come.

Those very tears would eventually wash away all the despair I thought I would never recover from.

No shoulder to rest my suffering self on. I was invisible now.

DAY TWO: Hit Over The Head By A Two By Four

The night was long. This day would be longer. I had slept alone that night. He left I was alone.

Where did he go? A hotel perhaps? Or was there someone else he was running to?

This was the logical and first question when being hit over the head by a two by four.

That is what it felt like. What did I do to deserve this treatment? I was a good wife and supporter and great mother. I didn’t drink, smoke, use drugs or cheat on anyone. Aren’t these the typical reasons for leaving someone. There was none of this. We never fought, we had a comfortable and loving life. So I thought.

There had to be another party in this scenario pulling his strings in her direction.

Those proverbial strings that are titillating and salacious. He was a man after all and the testosterone seems to overpower everything comprehensible. He couldn’t be in love with someone else. It had to be LUST and the sexual energy pulling this man who I thought was so honest and  trustworthy.

The anxiety within my gut rose to levels unimaginable. That heart pounding fear of not knowing nor having control over any of this left me nauseous. I was now being punched in the gut over and over again. I was scared.

DAY ONE: The Announcement

It has been eight years since that first day of my unexamined new life.

That moment of disbelief after a 30 year marriage and life within the gates of my upscale community ended.

Life had been good to me. Married with children, professional and financially secure, a pillar of the community. Happy and content for the most part. There had never been any turmoil within my long relationship. I had lived with and admired this man.The one individual  I called my best friend and love partner.

His thinking was not quite in line with mine. With shocking proclamation one morning. An announcement that I will never forget! One that shattered my dreams of spending a long journey with this man I thought that I knew, those words…

“I do not love you romantically anymore and I want to leave this marriage.”

This was a joke I thought to myself. He was keen with wit and humor I would dismiss this as nothing more than that.

But then that gloom appeared over his face. He was for the first time being honest about how he really was feeling. No joking this time. This was serious.

I felt this was just a temporary cog in the wheel of life. I would fix that squeaky wheel, after all, that was my role. The CEO of the family.

I would discover that wheel had already rolled out that marital door months maybe years before and nothing would repair our marriage.

Day one the dance of grief began.

Life is a Dance

My life dancing in the stars.

Betrayed after 30 years of marriage.

The fabric of my family of four tattered.

The dream of ever after love and marriage unceremoniously uprooted.

The dance of grief began.

Looking for love in cyberspace.

My 8 year journey of online dating.

The dance of crazy.

“The Dance Card” by Ann Reichardt

Reading on the Regular

Beginning a new year and new blogging… Check out and The Dance Card available at Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, iTunes. Grab your copy today!

The Daily Post

With 2015 on its way, some of you might have blogging goals for the new year:

I want to publish a post every day.

I want to launch a blog with a few of my favorite bloggers.

I want to take my writing to the next level.

I want to make my mark on the internet — in a way that only I can.

This year, I was especially inspired by ongoing and serial projects, like Leah Reich’s A Year of Wednesdays collection, Ann Morgan’s A Year of Reading the World book list, and Andrea Badgley’s Andrea Reads America blog.

One essay a week, every Wednesday, for a year.

Leah Reich writes about culture, technology, relationships, and more. In her Medium collection, A Year of Wednesdays, she has published an essay every Wednesday this year. What I love the most is that these musings are quite short — two…

View original post 419 more words

The Dance Card

Life is a dance.

Finding Love is a dance.

Expressive, romantic, synchronized, fluid in movement or antagonistic,confusing, unbalanced and conflicting.

Which dance fits into your life?

Explore “The Dance Card” by Ann Reichardt’s new book release on dating after divorce.

The real life “Girlfriends Guide to Divorce”